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I asked 9,000 people what strength of character they wanted to help with their mental health. In other words, have better mental well-being.
The question was open for any of the thousands of people to interpret it personally. Some people were already mentally strong and chose the strength that would help them maintain their mental well-being.
Others felt overwhelmed in life or had a psychological problem and mentioned a strength to help them get through the dark times.
The results surprised me.
One might expect strengths like love or kindness because helping others or taking time to care for oneself are ways to feel better. Or, one might expect spirituality since connecting with something bigger or transcendent can affect mental health. Or maybe hope: to have more positivity and optimismor curiosity to use the mind to explore the world.
No. None of those strengths made it into the top five of people’s wishes.
Here are the top five strengths, starting with the fifth highest. Participants chose from 24 universal strengths found in human beings (they could also choose “none of the above”).
5: Forgiveness
People wish they could be more lenient. This makes perfect sense. The mental burden of holding on to resentment, gonnaand hurt feelings can be overwhelming. Science tells us that forgiveness takes time. It is rarely “one and done”. This means that we must be patient with our forgiveness. We need to make it a practice of letting go, over and over again.
- Science-based strategy from my book Character Strengths Interventions:
- After someone offends you, think about how the offender is a complex human being who needs to experience positive growth and transformation, rather than seeing them as “all bad.”
- After someone offends you, think about how the offender is a complex human being who needs to experience positive growth and transformation, rather than seeing them as “all bad.”
4: Creativity
People want to be more creative. They want to have more ideas. Their minds are often obstacles: “What will people think of what I created?” “What if I fail?” “How much am I going to lose?” I like that this strength has been nominated so highly because it reminds us that there is great value to our mental well-being if we can open ourselves to new ways of doing things, think of new solutions to our problems, and take novel action.
- Science-based strategy from my book Character Strengths Interventions:
- Develop divergent thinking. This means that when you have a problem, think of several alternative solutions instead of looking for a “correct” solution. After naming a problem, brainstorm to create a list of ideas for possible solutions.
- Develop divergent thinking. This means that when you have a problem, think of several alternative solutions instead of looking for a “correct” solution. After naming a problem, brainstorm to create a list of ideas for possible solutions.
3: Perseverance
People wish they didn’t give up so easily. The truth is that it is a challenge to persevere. When we are trying to reach a goal, life happens: we feel mental fatigue, we feel physical fatigue, we have negative judgments, people trying to stop us, and daily life gets in the way. But, perseverance can overcome those obstacles. That is inner voice that says, “keep going…keep swimming…don’t give up.”
- Science-based strategy from my book Character Strengths Interventions:
- While working on a project, pay attention to how you have put good focus, effort and energy into the task/project. Reward yourself when you “do your best” instead of what most people do, which is reward yourself when the goal is reached.
- As you work on a project, pay attention to how well you’ve put focus, effort, and energy into the task/project. Reward yourself when you “do your best” instead of what most people do, which is reward yourself when the goal is reached.
2: bravery
People want to be braver. I hear this and see this almost constantly in my work as I interact with people from all over the world. It is a challenge to be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone, challenge the system or the status quo, express an unpopular opinion, and face your fears. No one said bravery is easy. But we say that it is a way to be more authentic and help others.
- Science-based strategy from my book Character Strengths Interventions:
- As you consider using your bravery strength, focus on the result of the act of bravery. For example, think of the person you would be helping or remember the kindness of the action you would be taking.
- As you consider using your bravery strength, focus on the result of the act of bravery. For example, think of the person you would be helping or remember the kindness of the action you would be taking.
one: Self-regulation
The most significant percentage of people said that the top character strength they wish they had more of to help with their mental health is self-regulation. People want more self-control. This takes many forms: being more in control of your feelings, impulses, bad habits, and words.
People want more discipline in their life, but vices, old habits, and problem behaviors are ingrained, amorphous, hidden, confusing, and often victorious.
- Science-based strategy from my book Character Strengths Interventions:
- Start a daily self-monitoring log, using your smart device or computer. Keep track of how you feel mentally each day. Track your food and drink intake, your activities, and the people you interact with. Take note of the patterns that appear before you feel a certain way.
- Start a daily self-monitoring log, using your smart device or computer. Keep track of how you feel mentally each day. Track your food and drink intake, your activities, and the people you interact with. Take note of the patterns that appear before you feel a certain way.
These findings come from new research that I conducted in preparation for a scientific article that I will publish later this year. I wanted you to take a look at some of the many fascinating finds. Much more to come!
