Stress is a natural and very normal part of daily life. But some days are inherently more stressful than others: You have a job interview, you know your schedule is going to be jam-packed, you have a houseful of guests for a holiday meal—you get the point.
And the current backdrop of negative global news—inflation, war, political strife, and climate change—has put Americans on a daily basis. stress levels at alarmingly high levels, survey data shows
“Many of us feel overwhelmed and stressed by our increasing tasks and responsibilities in life; juggling heavy workloads, housework and childcare responsibilities,” she says Monica Vermani, PsyDToronto clinical psychologist and author of Deeper Well-Being: Beating Stress, Mood, Anxiety, and Trauma.
Often when we take on other people’s stress and let their stress overwhelm us, we start to feel out of control, she adds. Dr. Gail Saltzclinical associate professor of psychiatry at NY Presbyterian Hospital and Weill Cornell School of Medicine in New York City and host of the How I can help? podcast by iHeartRadio.
peta gaye sandifordA licensed mental health counselor at Empower Your Mind Therapy in New York City, she agrees that even mental health professionals (including herself) have to work in managing stress and prevent it from becoming overwhelming on busy days. “It takes a lot to ensure that I’m always there and do my best while fulfilling my other responsibilities,” he says.
These are the stress relievers Vermani, Sandiford and others swear to make before the days they know the list of stressors you can skirt the lists.
1. Don’t skip self-care
While it may seem like the last thing you want to do, or have time for, on overwhelming and busy days, keeping up self care Routines are also important these days. We start to feel stressed because our activity levels (what we’re doing) exceed our energy levels, Vermani explains, and self-care is all you do to fill your cup and replenish those energy levels.
Maybe it’s a walk in the fresh air, preparing a nutritious dinner, writing in a gratitude journal, or dancing to pop music. These can all be things that help recharge him, adds Sandiford. “Remember that if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.”
2. Schedule in 15 Minutes of Fun
Include an element of joy in daily activities; something that brings you pleasure and interest, and keeps you connected to yourself.
Whether you classify it as “fun” or “self-care,” engaging in any activity you love and feel confident in will relieve stress, Sandiford says. Run, riding a bicycle, walking in nature, listening to music and painting are among his personal favorites, and he spends at least 15 minutes a day doing one of those activities, especially on days he predicts will be challenging.
3. Set Reminders to Check Your Breath
When stressed, Vermani finds that she can spend an entire day breathing shallowly. So she sets a reminder on her calendar between clients to take a break and take deep, nourishing breaths. It’s a good daily habit, but it’s especially important on days when stress levels rise, she says.
You can try breathing in a few times, counting to 4, and exhaling slowly for a count of 6; then just notice how you feel. This style of deep, even breathing calms the sympathetic, or fight-or-flight, nervous system, helping the body feel less anxious in the moment, research find
4. Have an affirmation ready
Ruminating thoughts of being helpless or unable to handle a situation causes stress, says Vermani. To counter rumination and reduce the stress response, repeat a positive response. affirmation —some call this a mantra—to encourage feelings of being capable and able to handle the demands of the day.
Here are some of her favorite simple affirmations that “are a great source of strength, grounding, and Resilience”, according to Vermani:
- I can do this
- I am capable
- I am worthy
- I am safe, healthy and protected.
When you know a day can be stressful, start strong by repeating one of these affirmations first thing in the morning.
5. Plan ahead to avoid overcommitment
Some of the most common triggers for emotional breakdowns you feel overwhelmed or exhausted. Dr. Saltz says that part of her strategy for not letting these feelings overwhelm her is to plan as far in advance as possible so that she doesn’t overextend herself or commit herself.
“Instead of committing to something because I think that’s what I ‘should do’, my goal is to plan what I feel is manageable. If I’m hosting a dinner party, for example, I might do a potluck so I’m not responsible for every dish,” Saltz says.
“A lot of my anxiety comes from walking the runway despite feeling like it’s not what I want to do,” she adds. Making an effort to avoid overwhelming situations before you’re in them (or catching them early enough to change course), means you’ll feel less stressed and burned out down the road, she says.
6. Have a 5-minute relaxation practice in your back pocket.
Dr. Haley Perlus, a sport and performance psychologist in Denver, likes to practice deep abdominal breathing when she finds herself in stressful situations. She places her hands on her belly and breathes slowly and deeply, inhaling and exhaling.
“When I inhale, I focus on feeling my stomach expand. When I exhale, I feel my stomach contract. I like to remember: control my breathing, control my stress. This brings me back to center and momentarily distracts me from the stressor and brings me to a place of perceived control in both my mind and body,” says Dr. Perlus.
Mind-body relaxation techniques are among the best stress busterssays Perlos. And many you can practice in just a minute (or a few) whenever and wherever you feel overwhelmed.
When he has a full five minutes, Perlus says he likes to find a quiet place to lie down, take a deep breath, and try to clear his mind to allow him to shift into more peaceful emotions.
7. Remember personal strengths
When he finds himself on the brink of catastrophe and imagining worst-case scenarios, Vermani tries to flip the script by replacing a negative thought with a more accurate and adaptable one.
To put this into practice, Perlus likes to remind herself of her strengths, and she builds on them. She knows that she is a good listener, so in situations where she anticipates conflict or is worried about getting her point across, she focuses on that skill rather than the potential battle ahead.
“When I lead with a strength, I give myself the best opportunity to feel confident. Confidence tends to reduce anxiety and helps me lead with my best foot forward,” says Perlus.
8. Ask for help
Saltz says that much of her stress is related to “anticipatory anxiety,” rather than the day or event itself. So when he notices that anticipatory anxiety is building, he lets his inner circle know that he needs additional support.
“This will literally ease the burden of any task that needs to be completed while also making me feel mentally and emotionally lighter,” says Saltz.
Vermani surrounds herself with people and resources that can help her manage her stress levels, guide her through negative thought patterns, and help her reconceptualize seeing the good in the bad. And yes, those people include her own mental health care team.
Sandiford echoes that sentiment, adding, “Therapists need therapy, so I connect with someone who can help me process all my feelings in an environment where I feel validated and supported.”
