On the afternoon of May 6, 31-year-old Australian bodybuilder and actor Calum Von Moger, best known for playing Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Larger, jumped through a second story window in a failed suicide attempt. The resulting injury to his spine required surgery, as well as several days in a medically induced coma to stabilize the repair.
Although he is currently out of the hospital and recovering, this was just the latest in a string of recent personal tragedies that have dogged one of bodybuilding’s brightest stars.
I admit that I do not know Calum Von Moger personally. Like most of you, I only know his public persona, mostly through social media and his acting roles. Therefore, I am not going to waste time on your personal business trying to create a chain of events that explains why a man, who from the outside apparently has it all, could be in such a state of mind that he chose to take the plunge. through a second story window.
The question you need to ask yourself is, what could possibly cause such painful emotional pain that the only relief is death? That is the job of a mental illness professional to determine, and I am not one of them. What I will say is that, unless you have been living under a rock for the last quarter century, mental illness has become a current talking point for a variety of social issues and public tragedies. It seems that as society progresses, so does the need for address mental illness. I think this is a very relevant topic in bodybuilding, (by bodybuilding I mean everything: open, classic, 212, men, women, figure, physique, wellness and everything that has to do with weights, food, drugs and a posing suit), because, for a variety of reasons, we might be predisposed to it.
This is probably where I am going to be accused of rushing to judgment. How do I know Calum is mentally ill and he was suicidal? Some might even go so far as to point out that a jump from a second story window is more of a cry for help; for an actual death to occur in such a scenario, you would need a few more floors. While there may be some truth to that, it is nonsense. No one jumps out a window because their goldfish died. Something is wrong, and Calum is simply a manifestation of it.
Bodybuilding consumes everything, and a brilliantly dramatic show on display. The industry that surrounds it, and the actors within it, are no strangers to the drama we produce. However, behind the scenes, dealing with the drama can be problematic. Most of us learn to take it easy. But every once in a while, we get thrown a curveball that would make Jacob deGrom blush. I think Calum Von Moger’s plight is one of them.
On the outside, everyone’s vision of Calum Von Moger is one of the superstars of our industry. Tall, handsome, and burly, with all the accolades his way: three-time Mr. Universe, acting roles, modeling contracts, magazine covers, endorsement deals, and a solid social media following. He even played Arnold freak’n Schwarzenegger!
So what the hell is wrong here? I’m not going to play the armchair mental health expert. However, I doubt any of us would argue that people who are in their right mind and mind don’t jump out the window. Those kinds of incidents happen when someone is depressed, anxious, bipolar, addicted to drugs, conflicted… you get the idea. However you want to break it down, it’s caused by a form of mental illness. The question is, do bodybuilders often exhibit behavior that might label some of us as mentally ill?
A narcissistic breakdown?
To say that bodybuilders are selfish, or even narcissistic, is an understatement. It is common to find bodybuilders who are self-centered, arrogant, inconsiderate, aloof, attention-seeking, conceited, manipulative, and demanding. These traits fit the description of what doctors call narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). That’s not a diagnosis, but I’ve been around long enough to say that if Ovid were writing the story of Echo and Narcissus today, he would make the reflecting pool a mirror and the protagonists would be bodybuilders (Nemesis would be social media).
These days, especially with the help of social media, bodybuilders can easily label themselves as such. In fact, someone recently told me that if you want to find a good narcissist, find a bodybuilder. I wouldn’t put that label on all my brothers, but you know as well as I do that some of them deserve it. Especially when it comes to such typical bodybuilder traits such as the need for attention and admiration, the hatred of losing, problematic relationships, lack of empathy, pathological self-absorption, vanity, selfishness, self-admiration, etc.
Suffice to say, this is a complex area and I’m certainly not labeling Calum a narcissist (nor am I qualified to do so). I will say, however, that a psychologist spoke to me of what he called a “narcissistic breakdown.” This is when someone with NPD can no longer maintain the image of themselves and as a result becomes enraged, resulting in intense attacks, impulsive behavior, or harm to self and/or others. That’s something that could be relevant to us.
For bodybuilders, if you consider the descriptive traits of NPD, along with what might have prompted them to pack all that armor onto their bodies in the first place, then add to that something like contest prep, a movie role, a modeling job that requires a regiment that consumes everything from training, diet, meal prep, tanning, cardio and the associated stress that all of this causes, as well as having to make a living, and it’s not uncommon that this can make someone withdraw and isolate. Which leads to loneliness. Which can lead to depression. Then add a bunch of personal tragedies to the mix, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if the door is flung wide open to drugs. Create an all too familiar vortex.
This is particularly relevant to bodybuilding because so many of us have a drug use mindset. Whether you like it or not drugs are prevalent in bodybuilding, particularly at an elite level. I am referring to both performance-enhancing drugs and recreational drugs. More or less, if you get high, then you get high. It’s hard to rationalize performance over recreation, especially considering the inevitable overlap.
Now add the typical mood-altering hormonal responses of both certain drugs to enhance performance (steroids, in particular), as well as getting off those drugs. This only raises the temperature and increases the suffering. (For those unfamiliar with hormonal effects on mood, taking steroids on and off creates huge fluctuations in testosterone, which can lead to severe mood swings.)
Finally, if through all this suffering, sacrifice, dedication, focus, energy, time and money, the result of the contest, contract, photo shoot, social media following, whatever, is a disappointment or failure, one can easily find oneself on edge, enduring some degree of emotional pain.
They then look back and see the wreckage that this chase has caused. Relationships end, jobs are lost, injuries occur, savings are spent, family ties are strained—everyone has their problems. The strength of your mind and your mental aptitude will determine what you do about it.
Fortunately, most of us have the emotional capacity to pick ourselves up and move on. Some of us, unfortunately, cannot. The pain is too great, the loss is too great, the drugs have too strong a hold, the suffering caused too much damage, the anguish is too great, the pain is too unbearable. Suddenly the ending seems better than continuing.
I am in no way suggesting that this is the sequence that caused Calum to do what he did. However, thanks to social media, we know enough about him and what he does that we can analyze his situation and at least take into account the importance of mental health. The path Calum Von Moger chose has ultimately turned out to be horrible. By the grace of whatever higher power you attribute to him, he has been given another chance. I really hope that Calum’s suffering is not in vain; not just for him but for all of us.
The bottom line is that, especially in our world, we have to care about the people around us. Pay attention to what they are doing or not doing. If someone you know goes through an incredible series of personal tragedies, like Calum Von Moger, and becomes depressed, withdraws from social life, shows signs of self-hatred, becomes overly obsessed with their social media, or acts in some way threatened. , devalued, self-critical, radically impulsive and using a lot of drugs, then you may want to gather friends around you and talk about what is happening. Suggest advice, offer to take them, make sure they don’t spend too much time alone… there are plenty of resources and international hotlines available on the internet. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
You have to get involved. Simply loving them is not enough.
As big and invincible as some of us may seem on the outside, we all bleed, we’re all human. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to think that some form of mental illness/trauma caught up with Calum Von Moger and nearly killed him, this time. I hope that those around him can come together and find a way to protect and help him. At the end of the day friends, we have to worry about each other. No one else will. It can be inconvenient, but try to remember, as Joe Weider always used to say, “We’re all brothers.”
