Eating fast food brought me comfort as a child, but my parents always made sure I never overindulged in unhealthy foods and would monitor my diet.
As such, I grew up on a pretty healthy diet in my youth.
It was only when I hit my teens and gained more autonomy in my food choices that fast food started to make up a larger portion of my overall diet.
Whenever I felt stressed or anxious, I turned to fast food as a quick fix, despite many attempts to correct my eating habits. I knew it wasn’t healthy to do it, but I couldn’t help it.
Exercising regularly was also a struggle for me as a teenager.
I would often start a new exercise routine but could never stick with it and would give up after a few weeks. Just like with my diet, I struggled to stay consistent when it came to staying physically active.
So eventually I started to gain weight as a result of this unhealthy lifestyle, and I was about 30 pounds heavier by the time I turned 16.
My confidence started to drop, as did my fitness level. All of these factors combined made things like going for a run or going to the gym on a regular basis even more mentally and physically draining.
I couldn’t accept this as my long-term way of life.
FORCING ME TO EXERCISE
For a while, when I was 17, I remember dragging myself out of the house to start vigorous exercise every day, whenever I had more time and energy to invest in my fitness, like during school breaks when commitments were not fulfilled. road.
I was able to keep this up for over a year and made significant progress. I was able to maintain this for over a year and as a result, I lost about 20kg.
However, I was forcing myself and didn’t enjoy any of it. Although I felt a slight sense of relief that I was no longer overweight, I also remember feeling constantly mentally exhausted.
Then one day, my forced exercise regimen inevitably came to an abrupt end.
I was under immense stress and pressure from school and part-time work at the time. I was constantly busy and often sleep deprived during this period of several months.
As a result, I started neglecting my fitness again. I was back to my old routine of trying an exercise program that could only last a week, and no more.
These repeated failures made it even more difficult to avoid going back to my previous tendencies, including fast food.
Eventually my fitness got worse than when I started.
The low point in my teenage journey with my personal health was when I was classified as “moderately obese” after attending my pre-enlistment medical exam in July of last year.
Seeing the word “obese” on an official document related to my physical condition for the first time was a sobering wake-up call.
I felt a sense of shame as I thought about how my actions over the past year had brought me to this point.
It brought back bitter memories of how I used to struggle with sports and fitness-related activities at school resurfaced in my mind.
Every time I went to a meeting, people pulled me aside to tell me I needed to start exercising more. This happened quite frequently and always left me feeling humiliated.
With the kind of lifestyle he had, he also had no confidence when it came to participating in sports. As a result, whenever my friends invited me to do things like play basketball or go on a hike, I always preferred to stay home.
This caused me to miss many opportunities to socialize and stay in touch with my friends. As this became a long-term cycle, I also began to feel empty and dissatisfied in my social life.
Then there was also the national service itself. So I decided that I couldn’t continue my unhealthy habits during my national service, because fitness often plays a big role.
WHAT WORKED
So this time, unlike my previous futile efforts, I wanted to do things differently.
First, I had to learn to accept failure and be kinder to myself, so as not to lose motivation and fall into a worse state than before.
What ultimately worked for me was setting “hyper-realistic goals” that required very little effort to achieve.
These would include simple things like allowing me to eat whatever I wanted, but in smaller portions, and creating short workouts with exercises that I enjoyed.
I also did things like go for a run in the early hours of the morning where there were fewer people around, to keep my anxiety and lack of confidence from hindering my progress.
The effectiveness of some of these goals was somewhat limited when it came to increasing my fitness level. But I was able to stay consistent with these shorter workouts, keeping my newfound motivation from fading.
It also made it easier for me to start pushing myself a little harder, setting a slightly higher bar each time, to achieve better results.
Second, I also needed to deal with my stress, which I saw as the root cause of my relapse into unhealthy eating.
To better control my mood, I spent more time doing things that I was passionate about. I enjoy working on creative personal projects like creating graphic design or making short films with my friends. So engaging in such activities during my free time helped keep my morale high.
This was not a linear process, as there were still times when I experienced high levels of stress and briefly neglected my fitness.
However, every time I fell behind, working on my hyper-realistic goals got me back on track.
Earlier this year, I went in for a physical to have my body mass index re-taken before my enlistment.
As a result of the changes in my approach, I managed to lose about 12 kilograms and was now considered to be at a healthy weight.
In my mind, this felt like a temporary triumph in my journey with fitness, although I still have a long way to go.
Although my old habits resurfaced from time to time, I now know how to overcome these urges and have gained more confidence in myself.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ajay Suriyah, 20, recently graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Media and Communications Management. He is currently serving national service.
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