SAINT ANTONIO – The work of a firefighter is exhausting, but it is not only physically dangerous. Seeing so much death and destruction is mentally and emotionally exhausting.
However, in a profession like firefighting, vulnerability can be hard to find.
That’s why the San Antonio Fire Department just held a mental health bye week, to put this difficult issue front and center.
They did it with the help of one of their own.
Firefighter Kevin Burke is also an international performer, musician, and artist. He has been with SAFD since 2016.
“Anything and everything you can think of. I mean, we’re there for medical careers. We’re there for psych runs, fires, car or car accidents, all that kind of stuff,” Burke said.
A few years ago he was temporarily trapped in a fire, and he described the terrifying experience in a powerful spoken word performance called “Full Disclosure”.
“Full disclosure. I blew up a bit on the job. I saw a wall of black and orange, I looked at my lieutenant and he pushed him towards me, I walked out the door, the door slammed shutting me from all of them,” said his voice as the screen flashed images of the huge fire.
the video was created by the organization write about now, a poetry community featuring poetry from around the world. Video of him allowed Burke to discuss the mental health obstacles that come with being in the fire service.
When Burke recently learned that more firefighters die by suicide than by fire, he knew he had to drop it.
“Full disclosure,” the video continues. “My biggest fear is not getting hurt or even dying, sometimes. It’s who I’ll be at the end of every turn. Will my heart eventually break hard enough to turn to ashes?
The release of the video freed him to dig deeper and inspire others to talk about their lowest moments.
“I went through a rough patch and had a really low point, we’ll just say, and luckily there were people around me saying they were worried about me and that I should, you know, get help,” Burke said. .
She has been in therapy ever since and is now dedicated to helping her peers find help as well.
This month, SAFD held a Mental Health Respite Week.
A counselor visited all the stations in the city and talked about resources and ways to help each other.
“We are sending messages every day. We’ve put out a podcast, we’ve got a video running. We’re basically looking at every single thing this department does for our members and then making sure they know all the resources for themselves and their families,” said SAFD Chief Charles Hood.
Chief Hood understands how deep mental health issues run in his industry.
“I get these calls coming to my phone. Child killed in a train accident, a person sets himself on fire. We go out to those races and then we have to go home to our families,” Hood said.
He has seen devastating consequences of unhealed invisible wounds.
“There have been too many incidents across the country of first responders hurting themselves, first responders losing their jobs when they shouldn’t, first responders misbehaving because of things they’ve seen,” Hood said.
The stigma of mental health runs deep in general, but even deeper in the fire service.
“It’s hard to get guys to say when they need help and not see it as a sign of weakness,” Burke said.
“We are in a macho industry. We are Type A individuals, so we don’t normally go out and get help from people,” Hood admitted.
It is changing the way they report after serious events and adding trauma therapy dogs to the lists.
“This would be a working dog that is trained to deal with traumatic situations. We know medically and scientifically that pets give us hope. Pets lower our blood pressure, pets lower our heart rate. Pets are comforting. So we’re going to start a program here,” Hood said.
He acknowledges that the battle for mental health will only get fiercer if it’s not addressed openly.
“Our city is getting bigger, the call volume is going up, society is much more violent than it was when I started,” Hood said.
Therefore, the effort to keep firefighters emotionally and mentally resilient should be prioritized.
It’s a goal Burke is proud to be a part of.
“So many things have already been put in place, from our staff psychologist to the peer support team to CIT training. Just make it more visible and then try more progressive things like the dog show and having a place to go on your phone, whether it’s through that app or just a landing page,” Burke said.
Burke’s poem continued: “Full disclosure. We are firefighters. We love our job. We are trauma jugglers going through a daily onslaught of tragedies. We joke about each other’s close calls, bloody medical gloves, laughing together invincibly. We laugh loud and loud and get very quiet when no one is around.”
Burke’s video circulated during Mental Health Week.
It was a different display of bravery, in the form of vulnerability.
“My phone was full of guys coming up, thanking me, and like I said, telling me their stories and, you know, it’s been really cool,” he said.
“Full disclosure,” Burke said toward the end of the video. “I’m fine. Seriously, I am. I see a good therapist, ask for help when I need it. I just wish more of us did.”
At this time, Burke is earning her master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling. He wants to become a therapist, to be on the side of helping his fellow firefighters.
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