Today is Time to Speak Up Day in the UK, dedicated to a nationwide conversation about the importance of mental health. In recent years, while many have struggled due to the Covid-19 pandemic, Nabs has been on the front lines supporting advertising and marketing workers. Here, Senior Support Advisor Karen Charles talks about her experience working on the industry charity’s advice line.
We are social beings by nature, and this ongoing global pandemic has seen our lives hopelessly fractured; our ability to see and be with loved ones and friends was reduced and we lost physical access to these crucial support systems. Uncertainty went from what we thought was a temporary guest to a fellow resident. Many of us were isolated in how we felt; scared, anxious, heartbroken, angry, alone, afraid for loved ones who were vulnerable, unsure of anything and everything.
When we needed comfort, this may not have been accessible, and another video call could not replace face-to-face human interaction. The cultural adage of ‘keep calm and carry on’ soon became a burden. Many of us are experiencing anxiety for the first time, and for those who know it well, it’s exacerbated.
Talking about our problems and how we feel helps us start to feel better by starting the healing process and reducing emotional distress. While there is scientific evidence to back this up, I love my mother’s no-nonsense, “better out than in” perspective, which she generously applied to many other topics as well.
For me, this was never truer than when my dad passed away at the start of the pandemic. He was in a residence and the covid spread like wildfire. We were in complete lockdown so he was isolated from my family and friends and I had to fight to see him. When he was in hospice, they offered me grief counseling. Culturally, I’m British Black Caribbean, and we don’t generally seek this kind of help, so I ignored it.
A funeral, devoid of the usual protocols, wishes or cultural nuances and with only five to acknowledge its existence and say goodbye, I welcomed the hugs I received and gave, not knowing that it would be several months before I received another. At a time when we should have been surrounded by family and friends and received plenty of hugs and comfort in person, silence fell. Sitting with seclusion and the absence of this began to engulf me and I made the call to the grief counselor. To be listened to, to share what was happening to me and to be truly listened to, was a liberation.
I am familiar with the positive effects of speaking up and being truly listened to, as I have long been the person friends, family, and colleagues naturally seek to share and bounce with. These experiences influenced me to finally follow my heart and become a full-time coach and mentor, and at Nabs as a senior support counselor in their line of advice.
There is a long-standing stigma around mental health, ranging from shame or embarrassment to being seen as different, which often prevents us from seeking support. Then it grows and grows until something gives way, resulting in exhaustion, poor health, or worse.
Being present in someone’s time of need is a privilege for me and a gift for them. I recently spoke with a caller to the Nabs advice line who has been experiencing anxiety for some time and it has been increasing. We talk about how their anxiety manifested for them and the impact, and explore what may be contributing to this. They were emotional and tearful as they shared. We concluded that therapy would be the most beneficial next step in helping them manage their anxiety. They shared their relief at being able to talk to someone and be heard without judgment, especially since mental health and help-seeking were frowned upon in their culture. As someone with a cultural parallel, I was able to relate to and be considerate of this in our conversation. Many calls end with people expressing their gratitude for being heard and we can feel the positive change in their behavior.
Right now, 34% of callers to the Nabs Advice Line are people seeking emotional support around their mental health and well-being. Of them, a great 55% seek help around their mental health. We have seen a growing demand for this support as we move from the initial physiological protective response of fight, flight or freeze to recognizing the impact the pandemic is having on how we feel. We are now beginning to experience the mental health ramifications of the last two years.
Time to Talk Day creates the perfect opportunity for you to talk to someone about how you feel. Whether you call the Nabs Advice Line, talk to a mental health responder at work, or confide in a trusted friend or family counselor, you may find that a conversation is the start of your journey to feeling stronger.
Karen Charles is a Senior Support Advisor at Nabs.
.
