A shared problem… GP and mother of four, Clare Bailey, gives you some must-have advice: How can I stop my husband from exercising all the time?
- An anonymous reader said that her husband, 50, is now constantly working out
- He revealed that children complain they almost don’t see it anymore
- Clare Bailey explained that she may be going through a ‘classic midlife crisis’
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what When my husband turned 50, he suddenly decided that he was going to start exercising after years of not doing much. He encouraged it at first because he knew it would be beneficial to his health, but in the last two years he has gone from biking every once in a while to at least five gym sessions a week.
He also has a weight set at home and goes for a run. It has definitely become a vanity project as well as a health kick.
Our children complain that they barely see it now. He thinks I care for nothing when I say he’s addicted to exercise. Is right? Or should I tone it down a bit?
An anonymous reader said that her husband, 50, now exercises constantly, revealing that the children complain that they hardly see him anymore. Stock image used
GP and mother of four, Clare Bailey (pictured), explained that she may be going through a ‘classic mid-life crisis’
A This sudden obsession with exercise certainly sounds like a significant change in your lifestyle. I can see that he can feel abandoned at times, and also resentful, as he must be taking on more of the childcare. You must also miss spending time together as a family. Or maybe you’re worried that he might be interested in a gym buddy?
Whatever the reason, the change is disturbing. However, it is difficult to discourage an exercise regimen.
To cheer ourselves up and keep SAD (seasonal affective disorder) at bay, my husband Michael and I turn on the light boxes we both have next to our computers. Of course, going for a walk early in the morning can do the same, but it’s not always easy to catch the light before work. We also started increasing our vitamin D levels with supplements. The NHS recommends that everyone over the age of one take a daily vitamin D supplement during the autumn and winter months because the sun is not strong enough to generate the vitamin naturally.
This sounds like a classic midlife crisis. A recent survey of more than half a million people in seven countries found that the midlife crisis usually occurs around age 45 and is often associated with feeling overwhelmed at work, poor sleep and fear that the life goes downhill
So it may be that you are doing a ‘fitness reset’ to try to compensate. But it seems like, as an addict, you have to exercise more to get that endorphin hit. You should sit down and talk about his hopes and fears. Discuss your concern that your obsession is taking over your life and how that is affecting you and the children as well.
Emphasize that you are doing this out of love. Do not use the words ‘mid-life crisis’, as it may misinterpret it. If he dismisses her concerns, suggest that he record how much time he spends exercising in a week.
So when does exercise become an addiction? Do you feel nervous when exercising and have withdrawal symptoms? Does he back off or get angry if asked to cut back on his schedule? Do you change work or social arrangements to suit your regimen? Do you get anxious if you miss or don’t complete a session? Do you worry about your body image?
Whether it’s an addiction or not, if it’s affecting you and your family, it may be time to encourage them to develop a healthier relationship with exercise. See if you’ll do fewer sessions, find other activities you can both do together, and schedule rest days to allow for muscle recovery.
You could add yoga to your routine to improve balance and reduce stress. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also help change your habits. Your obsession may also be masking a condition like depression or anxiety. If that is the case, then you should consult a health professional.
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I like prunes, so I was delighted to read a new study in which postmenopausal women, older than 50 (that’s just me), who ate five to six prunes a day had higher bone mass and less osteoporosis than those who did not eat prunes. Prunes are rich in polyphenols that play a role in bone formation, as well as vitamins and minerals to strengthen bones. They taste great with Greek yogurt and nuts. Start with just a few, as they can have a laxative effect!
You can write to Clare at [email protected] or Daily Mail, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT.
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