The silence around our children’s mental health has always troubled me. Ask any educator and you will agree that the last ten years have seen an escalation of issues and concerns surrounding the mental health and emotional well-being of our children. And we have good reason to worry. Globally, over the past fifteen years, researchers have provided us with increasingly alarming statistics on the sharp and steady rise in childhood mental illness that is now reaching historic proportions, and the pandemic has intensified it further.
Approximately 15 percent of children and adolescents worldwide indicate the prevalence of mental health disorders. It is recognized that 50 percent of mental health disorders begin at the age of
fourteen and 75 percent by the age of twenty-four, making child and adolescent mental health a global priority.
Closer to home, the statistics are even more worrying. India is the most depressed country in the world, according to the World Health Organization, followed by China and the United States. Despite suicides being fully individualized in society to absolve our state institutions of any responsibility, suicide rates in India are higher than the world average, highlighting a growing public and mental health crisis. .
According to the National Crime Records Bureau’s Suicide and Accidental Deaths report, student suicides rose to 12,256 deaths in 2019-20, 8.2 percent of the total number. We are also seeing an increase in learning disabilities, communication and behavioral disorders (more and more students are being diagnosed with autism spectrum and attention deficit disorders) and, in this context, we realize the importance of inclusive education. And perhaps most concerning of all, the rates of depression, anxiety, and self-harm in our young people have increased.
In essence, India is facing a severe mental health crisis, with an estimated fifty-six million people suffering from depression and thirty-eight million anxiety disorders, according to a report by
World Health Organization. The National Education Policy (NEP 2020) has proposed making parental counseling mandatory so that students have a stress-free environment at home. Data indicates that mental stress is one of the most common factors behind student suicide. What is happening and what are we doing wrong? I spoke with established therapists who work with children and parents to understand the magnitude of the problem.
Family therapists and child psychologists Dr. Shelja Sen and Dr. Amit Sen found that the landscape had changed dramatically upon their return to India in 2003 after an eight-year absence. ‘When we got back, we found that children’s mental health services were few and far between. We realized that in the larger scheme of things, understanding of mental health was very low and childhood mental health
health was an even lower priority because it doesn’t provide the income and quick money that other services would,’ Dr. Shelja told me.
This is echoed by psychotherapist Gloria Burrett, who returned from the UK in 2006 and established her practice at Shri Ram School and Sitaram Bhartia Hospital. She was surprised by the fact that children and adults came out of the carpentry looking for help. ‘We had to push people out the door, even during lunchtime. At school, the children were dying to talk. She ranged from adoption issues to family breakups, custody battles, and parental mental health issues that caused anxiety in children as young as first graders.
Dr. Shelja paints a vivid picture of the basic reality that confronted them. There has been a huge escalation (in mental health awareness) in the last ten years. The number of kids we’re seeing has increased like! And we’re reaching younger and younger people with mental health issues (including young children ages nine to 10), depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and attempts, OCD, eating disorders, and bipolar disorders. And along with that, we have neurodevelopmental issues like ADHD, autism spectrum and learning disabilities.’
Parents and children are struggling with family and relationship issues, but Dr. Shelja cautions against using the term “epidemic” to describe the situation because it implies that it is a disease that is spreading, as if it were a cultural trend or a communicable disease.
To my endless question why this is happening, his answer was wise and measured. She believes that we have to look at the problem from the broader perspective of the society in which we live. ‘It is society that is broken and not the children. Children are the canaries of the time, they reflect what society is doing and feeling. As a society, we are going through a great deal of disconnection… while being connected 24/7 on our phones and social media. But in terms of meaningful connection, we’re losing.”
I asked Dr. Shelja what she meant by ‘meaningful connection,’ and as she explained, it’s about acceptance: accepting who we are and not having to pretend to be something else. ‘That connection is one to one, here and now. But if my connection to you is in social media all the time, in the number of likes and the number of followers, and if my worth comes from that, then we don’t spend time chatting with our loved ones.
His words reflect the thoughts of the teenagers I have spoken to. How the whole reputation, popularity and image thing starts at a very young age, with beautiful girls thinking they are fat and
ugly. Kids are afraid to share their personal struggles with friends in case they end up on social media. Little fights break out on social media, and when that happens, you can’t resolve the conflict, because the pain is too deep. The pressure is on students and parents to be what they are not.
Of course, digitization contributes to this because, as Dr. Shelja explains: “When I feel disconnected, I look for that connection more and more in the virtual world, in social networks, and I try to show a certain image, a certain aspect , because that’s what’s giving me validation. It’s a fake world I’m building. We find that parents come to us with concerns about kids’ Internet use or addiction, and we look for a reason for it. Why? what the child is addicted to that? What is happening? And a lot of times we find that the child is struggling with depression, and the depression may be due to academic difficulties. He has never had a feeling of being well and there is a sense of shame .’
Sometimes their only escape is the high they get from the world of video games. The dopamine rush from this experience is much more fun than the real world. ‘So we have these young children who have completely stopped going to school. They’re sitting at home, up all night on Fortnite or Counter Strike or all of these games, because that’s where they get that feeling of connection, it’s a pseudo connection, but it’s a connection. In the real world they have no connection, because there they have to prove that they are somebody, and they can’t because they think they are failures”, adds Dr. Shelja.
Excerpted with permission from Parenting in the Age of Anxiety: Raising Children in India in the 21st Century, Abha Adams, Alpeh Book Company.
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