Nick Kyrgios has revealed worrying new details about his ongoing mental health issues.
The divisive 26-year-old has had a rollercoaster summer but left the 2022 Australian Open an increasingly popular figure after a fairy tale to win the men’s doubles alongside Thanasi Kokkinakis.
Kyrgios has repeatedly been a strong voice of support for those affected by mental health issues and has been widely praised for the courage he has shown in sharing details of his private battle.
He addressed his mental health journey again in a question and answer session with fans on Instagram on Monday, where he also spoke openly about previous family issues that have affected his tennis career and his mental health.
“No one knows what I’ve been through, all the struggle I’ve been through,” Kyrgios said.
“I self-harmed, I was having dark thoughts about life.
“I always have my back and I have all the confidence in the world. I lean on my loved ones.”
He said that his relationship with those close to him has improved from a previous time when he admits that he tried to push them away.
“My relationship with my family was not very good a few years ago because I was always away and I didn’t have my family around me,” Kyrgios said.
“I was winning, losing, going through relationship issues, dealing with other issues and I was pushing them away because you feel like the world is against you.
“I pushed away everyone who was close to me and got into fights with people and that is something I would never want again.
“I go abroad seven months a year in a new place every week. That is why tennis is so difficult in my opinion. The mind game is ridiculous.
“Physically, you have to be an absolute animal. What other sport do you have to play for more than three hours, possibly seven times in two weeks? It does not happen.
Kyrgios last year told fans to contact him if they had mental health issues in an Instagram post where he said he had previously dealt with “disgusting racism.”
Kyrgios spoke out for the first time about his mental health struggles in 2020.
“When I was struggling, and it wasn’t just about tennis, there were times when I was seriously depressed,” he said at the time.
“I remember waking up in Shanghai one year and it was 4pm and I was still in bed with the curtains drawn. I didn’t want to see the light of day,” Kyrgios said.
“I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone. It was a lonely and dark place.
“A lot of people put pressure on me, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I just lost my joy in the game and was out of control. I fell into depression for the things I thought I had to be. I was afraid to go out and talk to people because I thought I would let them down because I wasn’t winning games.”
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