In recent years, the shame around and talking about mental health has begun to melt away.
But given that men are still more likely than women to die by suicide, it is clear that there is an imbalance between who feels the impact of residual stigma.
Men are not only more likely to die by suicide, they are also less likely to talk about their mental health in the early stages: a survey of 1,000 men by Priory Healthcare found that 40% of men will not talk about their mental healthwith the same number saying that it would be necessary to have suicidal thoughts before they would open up to someone.
Men are much more likely to ignore their own mental health, which has been called a ‘time bomb’ by experts, so it’s vital that you make a conscious effort to notice when your friends aren’t acting like themselves.
Five signs a partner is struggling with their mental health
“The small act of reaching out to a friend who may be struggling can often go a long way,” Debbie Longsdale, director of therapy services at Priory Healthcare, speaking on behalf of the world’s leading mental health app. my possible selfhe tells Metro.co.uk.
“However, the problem some face is that with so many men not naturally asking for support, it can be hard to know when a friend might need that contact.”
Here are five signs you should check in with a friend who might be having trouble.
shorter temperaturer
If someone has a shorter fuse than usual and the jokes aren’t working as well as they normally would, it could be a sign that they’re struggling with their mental health.
“If someone can’t find the right words or doesn’t quite know how to communicate them, frustration can turn into anger,” says Debbie.
“While anger can be quite a difficult emotion to deal with in a friend, by teasing it out and asking helpful questions to understand more, you can help identify the root cause of someone’s frustration.”
Debbie says it’s important not to respond in anger, even though this can be difficult.
“Instead, try to help your friend communicate what’s really bothering them and use that to open up the conversation.”
Debbie suggests recommending online resources, like My Possible Self, to help take positive steps toward openness.
“Bookmarking resources like this when the time is right can help the person with things like better putting their thoughts and feelings into words or other helpful ways,” she says.
unwillingness to socialize
“Withdrawal is a fairly predictable response from someone who is slipping into depression or anxiety, and it can be a common symptom in men who are often competitive and want to feel strong and in control,” says Debbie.
If you notice that a friend is less willing to socialize than usual, or you just haven’t heard from them in a while, it might be a good idea to check in and see how they’re doing.
“Mental health issues can be extremely draining, with many struggling with even the daily tasks of getting up, showering and eating,” says Debbie. ‘This lethargy can be transferred to social plans’.
Even a phone call or Whatsapp message can help, especially because it takes the pressure out of getting ready and leaving the house.
A one-on-one walk can also be a good idea, since, Debbie says, group plans can be overwhelming and “there’s not as much pressure to make eye contact while walking, which can often help men open up.” .
Increased use of alcohol or drugs
Increased drug and alcohol use can be a sign someone is looking for escapism, something Debbie says is common among men struggling with their mental health.
“If you notice that a partner has been drinking more than usual, especially if they’re doing so in a non-social setting, it might be worth checking in with them to make sure they’re okay,” she says.
“For some, this can lead to struggles with dependency and addiction, which can start to escalate into more health problems.”
If you decide to bring up the problem with a friend, Debbie says it’s important not to be too confrontational and to avoid using words like “alcoholic” or “addicted.”
“Raising the issue could make the person feel embarrassed and react defensively,” he says.
Pick a time when they’re relaxed to ask how they’re doing, and most importantly, don’t bring it up while either of you is under the influence of alcohol.
trouble sleeping
“Social norms and expectations, for example, that they need to be seen as breadwinners, often create stress and pressure among men that can disrupt routine,” explains Debbie.
If you notice your friend sleeping later or not sleeping as much, it’s a good idea to talk to him.
“Men who struggle with a busy or anxious mind often have real trouble falling asleep,” says Debbie.
“It’s also a vicious cycle, as it can lead to sleep deprivation, which is really hard for our brains to deal with and can exacerbate mental health issues.”
“If a friend mentions that they’re having a hard time falling asleep or that they seem constantly tired, opening up a dialogue with them about how they’re doing is a good place to start.”
Eating habits begin to change
Depression, anxiety and other mental health problems can affect the way you eat – as Debbie says, appetite and digestive issues are common markers of mental health issues.
“This can go both ways, as some may start to overeat to find comfort, while others may start to eat less,” she says.
“If you spot a change in what’s standard for a friend, try asking more broadly how they’re doing.”
My Possible Self is a free NHS-backed global mental health app that provides holistic and engaging tools to support and improve everyone’s mental wellbeing, including a guided ‘Men’s Mental Health’ series. For more information, visit www.mipossibleyo.com.
World Suicide Prevention Day 2022
For this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day, Metro.co.uk has teamed up with Samaritans to share stories and raise awareness.
As the UK’s leading suicide prevention charity, their aim is to encourage people not to be afraid to speak up about suicidal thoughts and feelings if they are worried about someone.
“Suicide can be seen as a taboo subject, so it’s important for people to know that it’s okay to ask things like ‘Are you feeling suicidal?’ Samaritans Executive Director Julie Bentley.
Research has shown that asking someone if they’re suicidal won’t make things worse—it might even protect them. You can find tips and support on how to start a conversation about suicidal thoughts. here.
Anyone can contact Samaritans, free of charge, 24/7, 365 days a year, on 116 123, email [email protected] or visit samaritans.org.
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