I want to surprise my girlfriend with an expensive exercise bike. Why does every keep telling me it’s a terrible idea?

Updated: one A day ago Published: one A day ago

wanda and wayne,

So Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and my friends and their SO’s are rejecting my brilliant gift idea for my girlfriend. I was planning to buy him a high-end home exercise bike with plenty of exercises beyond just riding a bike. I think it would get her moving and motivated with her workouts and fitness again.

She still refuses to go to gyms or yoga studios, runs or skis or does anything outside in the winter apart from walking her dog once or twice a week. I still work out a lot, but I’ve mostly avoided gyms because she bothers her because she doesn’t go and because I’m potentially insecure. I know you’re frustrated about missing your gym routine, which really consisted of walking on the treadmill or riding your bike for an hour or so several times a week while watching movies on your iPad and talking to a handful of “friends of the Gym”. I even think she may be a little down from all of this and her endless stress from COVID.

But my friends and their wives/girlfriends say no matter how I frame it, for their well-being and happiness! — buying her this bike is like telling her she’s out of shape and doesn’t look good and doesn’t fit, and if anything, it’ll really set her back and she’ll never forgive me. I don’t get it. I still think it’s a great gift, but now I’m questioning it. And it’s expensive! I don’t want it to be a coat rack and I’m sure if she doesn’t like it, she won’t want me to use it in my garage with my workout stuff. And I don’t want to sell it for half price. Anyway, what do you guys think? Bicycle or no bicycle? Thank you.

Wanda says:

You say you want to motivate your girlfriend with her workouts and fitness “again,” but has she ever been? Look: He describes her as an occasional gym visitor who was probably there more to socialize than to break a sweat, whose activity never accelerated beyond a brisk walk. This earlier reality doesn’t really match the stereotype of a stationary bike fanatic who sets an alarm at 5am and pumps the pedals with the effort that comes out of his pores.

It would be a different story if your girl was once an avid runner, daily yoga practitioner, or serious weightlifter. Instead, you’ve hitched the wagon to an amateur walker, and it seems her slower pace may bother you more than her. Frankly, putting an aggressive piece of exercise equipment in the middle of her living space doesn’t mean she’ll jump on board.

Your intentions may be rooted in kindness and generosity (we get it, it’s expensive, you mean well), but stay away from the bike. Take off your fitness instructor hat and start imagining creative ways you can bring romance on February 14th. Presumably, you’re the only one who can deliver in that category, and with the stress of the past two years, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to make her feel pampered and special.

Wayne says:

Tell me you’ve never been in a serious relationship on Valentine’s Day without telling me you’ve never been in a serious relationship on Valentine’s Day… Since Wanda provided you with some basic Valentine’s Day do’s and don’ts. Valentine, I’ll cover your special gift for bad gifts.

Sporto, unless you’ve specifically asked for a really cool, expensive exercise bike or have been constantly hinting that you want a really cool, expensive exercise bike, don’t buy one from them. For Christmas. For his birthday. For Thanksgiving. for a surprise. And definitely not for Valentine’s Day. If you are so fascinated with this bike, buy it yourself. And if she rides it or plays with some programs, bonus.

Your friends are right: at best, this would have been an unused and unappreciated dud. You should listen to them more often. He should also listen to his girlfriend instead of guessing at her state of mind and what he should prescribe to fix it.

I, however, will venture to guess what your girlfriend wants. Probably some love, support and understanding. Probably a break from the now maddening monotony. And breaking news: we are all a little down and very exhausted from the COVID madness. So if you can afford a fancy bike, I’m sure you can quickly put together a little package vacation or Alaska staycation itinerary that takes you both away from your routines and brings you both closer together for a while.