Beau Marksohn, 41, is a mental health activist and lives in London.
I was volunteering with a mental health charity that needed help delivering food parcels to some of its vulnerable members during the first lockdown, so I started riding my bike as a means of getting around. I soon discovered that I loved it, both because of the freedom and the incredible focus you get, so I also started biking around my local park.
My history with exercise and diet is complicated. Since I was about six years old, I have been a compulsive eater and morbidly obese (more than 25 stones) or swayed the other way and has been anorexic or bulimic and dangerously thin. Exercise used to be a compulsion, something I did to punish my body or lose weight, instead of enjoying it.
I sought help in 2016 and for the first time it was explained to me that I suffered from body dysmorphia and that the condition was like a disease. I was advised to start eating highly regimented meal plans to help me relearn how to nourish my body and to avoid exercise until my recovery was further along.
So starting to ride a bike was a big step for me. One thing I found daunting was the idea that if I wanted to be more serious, I would have to join a group and wear Lycra. There have been weeks of my life where I haven’t been able to leave the house because of the way I felt about my body, and those kinds of core beliefs are hard to dispel.
I haven’t totally gotten over those feelings now, I still struggle with self-acceptance, but I decided I didn’t want to let the way I feel about my body hold me back anymore.
I joined Chain Gang Cyclists, which was formed during the lockdown by a group of guys who wanted to ride bikes for their mental health, and found a great support group in them and I love the social side.
I recently launched a weekly ride, The EveryBODY Ride, to raise awareness of body dysmorphia and body inclusion. It is open to anyone who wants to ride a bike, regardless of ability.
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