‘I’m a personal trainer. Here are my 7 dos and don’ts of the gym.’

Maybe it’s a case of not getting out enough and being inappropriately aroused by moving ankles (don’t ask), but if you ask this personal trainer, you can save your damn abs and warm me up and tease me by doing the following:

1. Prioritize form over ego.

I don’t mean to be rude, but there’s no greater boner killer than an asshole who groans and sweats while pushing weights that are clearly beyond them. What exactly are we trying to accomplish here besides petrifying women and children?

On the other hand, my grumpy friend, if you really want my attention, use an appropriate weight that allows you to move with beautiful control and flawless form…with minimal jungle sounds.

While you’re here, take a look at how horoscopes work. The post continues after the video.

2. Put your shit away.

Using 8 x 20kg weight plates on a machine and proceeding to walk away while the unlucky guy working on the gym floor has to get your shit where it belongs is the equivalent of being a jerk to the waiter on a first date: a deciding factor.

Sadly, this happens so often that when a normal human actually puts away the weights they used, it’s an instant love, heart, and eyes emoji.

Actually, that person is me. I keep the weights. In fact, I don’t just keep my pesos; I arrange the weights around her. Where the heck are the love, heart and eye emojis for me? WHERE???

3. Dare to be different.

The men lift the heavy stuff on the gym floor and the ladies do aerobics. As I draw myself from 1970, there is no denying that certain activities in the gym still have a type.

While this archetype is absolutely changing, there is something so beautifully vulnerable about participating in any activity you desire despite being the only one of your kind in said situation.