Jacki Smith, founder of Coventry Creations, shares advice on mental health and entrepreneurship
(Guest view, Jacki Smith, June 23, 2022)
Ferndale, MI – We all know that business owners are the last people to take care of their mental health. Being the brains and heart of any business puts you right where you are mentally and emotionally giving 110%. Going for a walk, meditating, or any other form of therapy stays on the “I’ll do it when” list for too long.
Part of the pressure comes from comparing yourself to Fortune 500 success stories. As you emulate their “fake it until you make it” pace and work ethic, you lose your own importance. Business owners quickly learn to hide their vulnerabilities and see mental health self-care as things only weak people need. This behavior can push entrepreneurs beyond their limits, but this is not a sustainable lifestyle. Exhaustion occurs at the top, and also at the top of the top.
I’d like to recap my Retailing Insight article, May 10, 2022 Leadership and Mental Health about the benefits of self-care so you, too, can embrace entrepreneurship with a strong mind and a happy heart. https://www.retailinginsight.com/current-issue/leadership-and-mental-health/
Unfortunately, my research uncovered my worst fear, that business owners, like parents and caregivers, put their well-being last. Let’s collectively make a change by changing. Here are some things we can all do to incorporate self-care into our rise to success.
Before each flight, the attendant says “put the mask over your own mouth and nose before helping others.” Have you ever wondered why that is? It is to ensure that you are not disoriented when helping others. When you take care of all parts of yourself, including your body, mind, emotions, and spirit, you ensure that you are fully present to help your business grow.
What are self-care and mental health?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, self-care is “taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve your physical and mental health. Self-care can help you manage stress, reduce your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily routine can have a big impact.” They go on to state that this looks different for everyone, from exercising to sleeping to eating healthy to staying connected with people. In the insightful world, we know it can also mean setting healthy boundaries, taking time to meditate, regularly clearing our energy, and watching our reactions to mundane interactions.
Taking care of your mental health also means maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. When you’re always giving to others and don’t take the time to recharge your mind and spirit with things that bring you joy, burnout quickly follows. Chronic colds or the flu, depression, insomnia, changes in eating habits, body aches, and even changes in alcohol or drug use can all be signs of burnout. It can sneak up on you and take a long time to recover. Quitting your job is not an option, because you own the joint!
Through working with my coaches and therapist, I have found some ways to continue to build a healthy relationship with myself. I put self-care at the top of the list and check in on my mental health regularly. Here are some pearls of wisdom from the pros.
get rid of history
There is a big difference between the facts and the story we create when we fill in the gaps of what we don’t know. Facts are what specifically happened. The story is what you assumed the other person’s motivations or thoughts to be. The story is never about you and it’s always about the other person. For example, noticing that they noisily entered the room is a fact. To think that they angrily stomped into the room is a story. Stomped implies motivation or thought of the other person. Ask questions before creating a story. Tell people how their actions affect you and that you are creating a story in your head so they can share their facts with you.
nothing is wrong here
There is something wrong? Really? Sign up. Is there something really wrong? Sometimes a lot of stress, a lot of changes, even a lot of success, can make you feel like something is wrong or someone is doing you wrong. The record also requires that you take a quiet moment to reflect on how you feel. Remember, feelings don’t think, they just tell you how you feel.
Sit in the Suck
Sometimes you need to sit in the trap, understand it, and understand how you got there. Take the time to discover the lesson and then… get up. When you avoid the blowjob, the uncomfortable truth, you are bound to repeat it and the next time it will be worse. This may seem counterintuitive to mental health self-care, but as they say, the truth will set you free.
When I make a bad decision and take a moment to sit down and suck, own up to that choice and admit I made a mistake. Only then can I look at the circumstances with an open mind and see what led me to make the decision and learn from it. Circumstances don’t change, but my perspective does.
Break
Find a way, one hour at a time, to start creating a break for yourself. Do something not associated with your business and explore a new side of yourself. Take a class in something you don’t have to be an expert at. Make a terrible vase in pottery class or a lopsided cake in a cooking class. For a few years, I took a martial arts class and didn’t try out for a belt. I stayed white belt at the back of the line as long as I could! Recess is a great way to have fun and not be in charge of one thing.
Celebrate
Rewarding your staff for a job well done is a great tool, and rewarding yourself is just as important. It’s good for you as a boss that you congratulate yourself too. If you don’t reward yourself or celebrate your own moments of victory, you can become stingy in praising others. Bring joy back to your career by celebrating.
Time to call in the experts
Yes, this can be expensive, but do your best to fit it into the budget. Take a look at yourself and then improve your business.
At the end of the day, you are the most important investment in your business. No one has your vision or your passion to see it manifest, so take good care of it. The National Institute of Mental Health advises us to seek support if we experience any of the following symptoms for more than two weeks, as they are a sign of burnout:
- Difficulty to sleep
- Changes in appetite resulting in unwanted weight changes
- Struggling to get out of bed in the morning
- Difficult to focus
- Loss of interest in things you normally find enjoyable
- Inability to perform usual daily functions and responsibilities.
I leave you with this last quote from the inspirational writer Alan Cohen, who says: “Don’t wait for perfect conditions to start. The beginning makes the conditions perfect.” Take care of yourself as the precious resource that you are, since there is only one and you are crucial for your business. After 30 years in business, I’ve found that there will always be another crisis, urgent phone calls, upset customers, out of stock, and the list can go on… but the bottom line is that there will never be the right time to walk away. of your business to take care of you until it becomes a priority.
Jacki Smith is the creator of Coventry Creations and owner of The Candle Wick Shoppe in downtown Ferndale. check this recent Oakland County Times Candle Factory Tourand also check out The Candle Wick Shoppe at https://www.candlewickshoppe.com/?utm_source=banner-ad&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=2022-oc115
