It’s the season for corporate layoffs. On Thursday, a leaked internal note of Twitter leaked about pending layoffs. On Friday morning, an “unknown number of people” learned of his fate…probably after a sleepless night for some.
When it comes to the looming uncertainty of potential layoffs, Dr Sheehan Fisherassociate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, encourages people to seek healthy coping mechanisms, such as talking with family and friends.
“An imminent layoff will obviously create a lot of anxiety for anyone about what it will be and the danger is that the person could start to imagine all the ways their life could fall apart and go wrong,” he explains. “And that can be too onerous without actually having the data on what is going to happen or not happen.”
Instead of thinking ahead, Fisher suggests engaging in a more mindful state, whether that’s listening to a guided meditation, practicing yoga, or unplugging devices.
“You’re almost going to dream up all the worst-case scenarios, which puts more stress on you than necessary until you really know what’s going to happen,” he says. “And usually that fear is worse than what will actually happen. If you are going to be fired, chances are you will learn to deal with it and be able to adjust. But when you dream about what will happen, you might assume that your life is over.”
Although layoffs are extremely personal, they do not only affect the person who was laid off. Read on to find out how to cope no matter which side of the news you’re on.
What to do if you’re the one who got fired…
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a “we’re sorry to inform you” email or conversation, Fisher recommends taking a step back from the situation to digest the news before reacting.
“Sometimes we want to fix the problem right away or try to find a way to not feel bad, but it’s important to take the time to grieve and truly feel the loss,” she says. “It’s almost like a death where you need to grieve even though the mourning is very painful.”
Once you’ve had some time to grieve and process, you can start thinking about the next steps in terms of what will help advance your career.
“Sometimes people may take a bad job just to get a job and feel better about themselves, but they’re not necessarily thinking about what’s the best next step for my career,” says Fisher. “And the reason in part behind that firing is not just losing their income. It’s about all the different aspirations and networking done while they were in that role. It is about a person’s opinion of her identity and worth, which is often tied to her job and her title. So losing him feels not just like losing a job, but like losing themselves.”
When it comes to finding the next role, Fisher recommends asking for feedback from others to make sure they’re being sensible about next steps rather than reactionary. He also encourages people to seek professional help before their mental health begins to suffer.
“People tend to wait to see me when they’ve been down for months instead of being proactive,” she says. “Early intervention is key because it can help you make good decisions about taking on a new role instead of starting off on the wrong foot.”
A therapist or psychologist can also help someone who has been laid off deal with the post-traumatic stress of losing their job, as well as offer helpful ways to transition into a new role.
“It’s almost like someone who was cheated on and in their next relationship they’re so worried about it happening again that they’re hyper-focused on it and unable to give it their all in the relationship,” explains Fisher. “The same thing happens at work, where you may be so worried about not getting fired that you’re not performing at an optimal level, which could actually repeat the process.”
What to do if your colleague was fired, but you weren’t…
Survivor’s remorse over layoffs can come in two phases, says Fisher. First there is the concern that even though he survived this round, his role may be next and then there is the guilt.
“You want to maintain your empathy and care for other people without taking on the full burden of someone else,” she says.
It is also important not to be too optimistic about the situation.
“People have to be careful because sometimes we want to say something positive, but that might actually be dismissive of the person’s experience,” says Fisher. “Saying ‘everything will be fine’ or ‘you’ll find another job’ doesn’t allow the person to feel fully in the experience of it.”
Although we may want to ease someone else’s pain because of our own discomfort, there is nothing wrong with crying at work. Once your colleague has had a chance to process, it may be fine to offer practical help in terms of referrals or forwarding new opportunities, but it’s important to give them space to go through the grieving phases.
What to do if you are the one doing the dismissal…
There’s been a lot of talk lately about compassionate dismissals And for good reason. Although layoffs are often business decisions, there are still real people who are affected, on both sides.
“People respond better when there is genuine interaction,” says Fisher. “So if you go into a sterile, robotic conversation, the person on the receiving end will not only feel fired, but also feel like all those years they put in meant nothing.”
Once again, displaying genuine human emotion requires an element of discomfort. “It would be beneficial for both parties to recognize what is happening in the room and why it is happening,” says Fisher. However, she warns that managers should not feel too responsible and then wallow in guilt, as it can be self-destructive.
What to do if your loved one was laid off…
If your spouse or partner was recently laid off, Fisher suggests extending grace as they navigate their new normal.
“Try to contextualize what they’re going through and how that may be affecting their behavior at home for a while,” she says. “It’s also important that you try to support them through the process without appearing to see them as a failure or that your view of their value has begun to change.”
This story originally appeared on fortune.com
More from Fortune:
The American middle class is at the end of an era.
US may be headed for ‘tripledemia’: Doctor issues urgent warning
