max rohskopf has learned through painful experience that there are some events in a person’s life that you will never really get over.
At first glance, it might seem like the 28-year-old prospect is referring to his only fight in the UFC, which ended after he refused to answer the call for the third round; the loss ultimately led to his dismissal from the promotion. But that’s not really the case.
In reality, part of what led to that moment, and so many other times Rohskopf was beset by doubt, stemmed from a severe childhood trauma that he never knew how to deal with until recently.
“As a kid, they basically told me I was a piece of shit,” Rohskopf revealed in The fighter against the writer. “From when I was born until I was almost 18 years old. It will never leave my head.
“No matter what someone tells me I can do, or no matter how good a practice I do or how good a fight I have, I’m always going to [have it] in the back of my mind ‘could do better’. It’s just a bit of a disease.”
Rohskopf said the same problems that have plagued him in MMA have also plagued him in wrestling, where he excelled at North Carolina State. There, he never lived up to his own expectations of him.
It has only been through extensive study and recognition of those triggers that he has been able to fight the constant belief that he will never be good enough at whatever he is doing.
“I’ve done a lot of research on childhood trauma and what that can do to someone’s brain,” Rohskopf said. “Even if it’s something that only happens once when you’re 4 [years old]it can affect him when he is older in his adult life.
“It’s definitely real. There isn’t much you can do about it. You can learn to live with that.”
It’s hard to say whether Rohskopf has really learned to live with the pain inflicted on him. But he is starting to understand himself better, at least when it comes to his wrestling career.
After that dark moment in the UFC where he was forever branded a quitter, Rohskopf walked away from the sport with no intention of ever competing again.
“I was completely finished,” he revealed. “I didn’t train for eight months at all. I wouldn’t even go to the gym at all. I was working, I started training, I was doing a lot of different things. It was completely done.
“I just decided, with the help of some friends, to get back on the horse and that’s what I did. I would say [this is Max Rohskopf] 2.0? I’m not really sure. It’s hard to say that before acting. Even in my Cage Warriors fights, I didn’t really perform to the best of my ability.”
When Rohskopf decided to return to competition, he signed with the Cage Warriors, where he won back-to-back fights, the first to a ground-and-pound finish and the second to a unanimous decision. He still wasn’t satisfied.
In fact, Rohskopf says he was still contemplating ending the sport for good, even after scoring those two wins.
“During my first two fights in Cage Warriors, I hated it,” Rohskopf said. “I was losing my mind every day in practice. If you look at my fights afterwards, I’m not happy at all.
“I remember going up to my trainers and saying something like, ‘Fuck this, I don’t want to be here, fuck,’ and I dominated both fights.”
It’s been nearly a year since Rohskopf last fought, and in that time, he began to learn to appreciate the sport in different ways while also coming to terms with his own sanity.
Because he was constantly filled with anxiety about whether or not he was doing enough to succeed and criticized himself to the point of exhaustion, Rohskopf never had much fun in training or when he competed.
While he knows those feelings could easily resurface, Rohskopf has made a conscious effort to change his approach to the fight and the way he prepares in the gym.
“I just try to focus on being grateful that I can do it,” Rohskopf explained before his return to belator 286.. “Regardless of the wins and losses and things like that. I’ve never really done that in my entire career. It’s always been about I have to win and that mentality can be very difficult at times. Everyone gets their ass kicked at least once in every sport, whether it’s wrestling, soccer, baseball, there will be times when you don’t do very well.
“I think to be grateful for it. Grateful for the opportunity to do so because a lot of people can’t chase what they want to chase. So at the end of the day, regardless of what happens, I can say that I did my best and I’m grateful for it.”
Another big element that helped Rohskopf determine that he wanted to fight again was the work he was doing as a trainer, which allowed him to use his personal experiences to connect with kids who might be dealing with the same kinds of issues.
It’s also why he’s so open about his mental health, because sadly there’s still a stigma around whenever a person mentions words like anxiety or depression, and Rohskopf hopes he can help others avoid the same pitfalls that have plagued him.
“At the end of the day, I want to make an impact on my family and the people who are close to me and the people who love me and be able to help other people along the way,” Rohskopf said. “I try to be of service to others more than myself, especially now, I think I’ve learned that.
“If I can help a 14-, 15-, 16-year-old in any way just by listening to me talk, or give some sort of guidance to anyone I can to the best of my ability, I will do it. Because I know what it’s like to not have it and it sucks.”
