‘My gym filmed me working out and put it on social media. I hadn’t consented.’

“What is it that bothers you so much?” asked another friend in the chat. “You’re on social media all the time. What’s the difference?”

It’s true, I’m quite on social media and I don’t edit my photos; I am often in situations that are much more embarrassing and unflattering than the gym video. My appearance was not the problem.

What got me was that I allowed myself to be very vulnerable in this space, and then I was filmed and shared on a public social media channel where anyone could see it. I had asked not to be filmed. It shouldn’t have happened.

My friends were upset too. They kept seeing themselves on social media too, but felt trapped: they didn’t like it, but they didn’t want to “make a fuss.”

I do not. While he knew it must have been an oversight, the gym needed to know. It’s usually a great place to be – classes are fun and challenging, instructors encourage everyone to work as a team and use each other’s energy to improve us all. And best of all, it feels safe. Well, he had felt safe. He didn’t feel that way right now.

It was late so I emailed the gym to ask why this had happened.

And then I shared it on my Instagram Stories, because as upset as I was, I wasn’t sure if I had the right to be. She was in his gym, after all. Was I being unreasonable? I asked. Beautiful? Should I put up with it?

My inbox exploded.

Hundreds of messages poured in, many from women who explicitly told their gym that they do not consent to being filmed or photographed and were filmed anyway, with photos and videos of themselves posted on Facebook and Instagram.