Pride Month: Addressing mental and emotional trauma among LGBTQI+ members

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Anurag Gupta, the founder and creative director of Apara Disum, a jewelry brand, recalls the bullying and physical abuse he had to face while at school. “It was not an incident that triggered me, but rather events throughout my childhood that would contribute to a deeper psychological impact on me. Even the extended family’s shaming of being ‘sissy’ and ‘creative’ has been painful, although as I got older, it became more bearable,” she says.

Reflecting his thoughts, Neeraj, an Indian-British producer of LGBTQ moviesHe shares with this medium a particularly heartbreaking episode, when his friend was “found murdered” after meeting someone on a gay dating app while on vacation.

“It made me realize how vulnerable the LGBTQ community is at the hands of homophobes and transphobic people. As a gay person of color living abroad, I personally had to face double discrimination; the worst thing has been the racial discrimination within the predominantly white gay community,” he says, adding that because he is a brown man, he was once “pointed out and harassed by police at a white LGBT music concert, because they didn’t believe a older brown man could be gay.”

A couple hugs as they celebrate LGBTQ+ pride month with a mass wedding of same-sex couples in Mexico City, Mexico, on June 24, 2022. (Photo: REUTERS/Edgard Garrido)

Incidents like these put the spotlight on ‘queerphobia‘, which is an urgent problem affecting many countries. While India has come a long way since removing IPC Section 377 which criminalized same-sex relationships, there is still some reluctance and resistance when it comes to embracing and acknowledging different sexualities and gender identities in a deeply sexualized society. rooted in patriarchy and machismo.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the largest grassroots mental health organization in the US, for many LGBTQI+ people, “socioeconomic and cultural conditions negatively impact mental health conditions.”

“Many in the community face discrimination, prejudice, denial of civil and human rights, bullying and family rejection, which can lead to new or worsening symptoms, particularly for those with mixed racial or socioeconomic identities. “, it states.

Srishti (name changed), who belongs to a small town in Uttarakhand, tells this outlet that one of her lesbian The cousins ​​reached out to their parents, but did not gain acceptance. “This made me realize how vulnerable I am. Now, how do I tell my parents that I am also a lesbian and that I don’t want to marry a man? What if they don’t accept me either? At least [my cousin] you have the option to escape these things, since you live in the US; I do not have that [luxury] as I just want to settle in Uttarakhand.”

She adds that she and her girlfriend, for the sake of their “peace of mind,” “are still [their] hearts and spread love to society by doing many things together, like feeding cows, dogs, etc.”

Dr. Prerna Kohli, a clinical psychologist and founder of MindTribe.in, tells indianexpress.com that the research is indicative of higher levels of trauma in the LGBTQ+ communityand that they come in the form of rejection and hostility towards sexual and gender identity.

“Trauma can be physical, verbal, psychological, or sexual, and members deal with at least one of these forms on a daily basis. His trauma begins at a young age, with bullying at school; many families may disown a member of the community or attempt “conversion therapy.” They may also face unemployment due to their sexual identity, along with daily harassment and a higher rate of sexual abuse,” she explains.

The expert warns that suicide, addiction and self-medication are significant consequences of lifelong abuse faced by the community.

Agreeing with her, Dr. Roma Kumar, co-founder and chief psychologist at Emotionally, a mental health platform, says that most LGBTQ+ people hide their sexual orientation and endure harassment for fear of lose his job. “Especially vulnerable are adolescents and young adults, who experience estrangement from family and social networks, bullying and invisibility, which can lead, in some cases, to poor school performance, school dropout, poor health mental health and homelessness.

She adds that families who are “conflicted about their children’s LGBTQ+ identity” believe that the best way to help them survive and thrive is to match them with their straight peers. “But this makes young teens feel like their parents want to change who they are. Miscommunication and misunderstandings between parents and their LGBTQ+ children increase family conflict. These issues can lead to fights that can result in the teen being removed or forced out of the home,” she says.

Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that the pain, hostility, and rejection community members experience can make them feel worthless, says Dr. Kohli. “Suicidal thoughts are the result of this internalized emotional pain and helplessness that one experiences. Family and friends can help by using kind words and not rejecting them because of their sexual preference.”

There are many resources available to educate yourself to be a better ally. (Photo: Getty/Thinkstock)

He adds that along with this, signs of suicidal behavior should not be ignored. “Friends and family should seek immediate professional help as soon as they notice signs of suicide, which are difficult to miss and include mentions of suicide, frequent mood swings, withdrawal from society, drug abuse, and death plans.” says the doctor.

Acceptance and healing.

Gupta says that today, as a 28-year-old man, he is “doing very well.” “I am working on my dreams and surrounded by loving people. Although our lives are complex, I believe in seeking professional therapy if necessary, and speaking with friends and family for enlightenment and support.”

Quoting performance artist and writer Alok Vaid Menon, he adds: “Often we dismiss things that we can’t understand. That is to say, perhaps, because we have not gone through that experience, we are unable to empathize or we simply do not have the interest [in learning about it]. But, the core of humanity is love; we don’t have to understand something to have compassion for it.”

Neeraj says that just as we accept people with different eye colors or left-handedness, society must learn to understand and accept the “gender and sexuality spectrum”. “Acceptance is a two-way street. When we in the LGBTQ community accept them as our parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers, it’s so natural that they understand and accept us,” she says, adding that her positive mental and emotional health is linked to love and support. he receives from his “biological and chosen family, and the support mechanism [he] he created for himself.”

Vithika Yadav, anti-slavery, sexual rights and gender rights activist and social entrepreneur, tells indianexpress.com that when it comes to LGBTQ people, society needs to learn about community. “In some cases, LGBTQ+ people are not allowed to socialize and are also not allowed to be in bars, restaurants, and other public places because of their gender or sexual preferences, which is absolutely unacceptable,” he says.

Yadav adds that we should “encourage conversations within the family” and “show respect and understanding in schools and workplaces.” “We really need to support the community by embracing and practicing inclusion and diversityand realize that we are all different.

Dr. Kumar is of the opinion that protecting LGBTQ+ people from violence and discrimination does not require the creation of a new set of specific rights, nor does it require the establishment of new international human rights standards.

“All persons, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity, are entitled to enjoy the protections provided by international human rights law, including the right to life, security of the person, and privacy, the right not to be tortured, arbitrary arrest and detention, the right not to be discriminated against and the right to freedom of expression, association and peaceful assembly”, it says.

Dr. Kohli suggests having an “anti-discrimination code” at the school level. “For example, kids often bully each other using ‘gay’ as a derogatory term. Change can start from here for schools to educate themselves and train the children of tomorrow to be kind to the community,” she says.

There are plenty of resources available to educate yourself to be a better ally, says Neeraj.

It implores parents, allies, and co-workers to help by providing “safe, non-threatening spaces.” “As parents, siblings or friends, they may notice us. Don’t wait for us to come out to you; you are always welcome to create a safe space and ask us instead. You will reduce a lot of the ‘coming out anxiety’ that we face as LGBTQ people,” she concludes.

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