Why do women exercise less than men? It’s because we put ourselves last

To another race? a mom from school asked happilyhis passive aggression barely masked behind his forced smile.

As usual, I was wearing my gym leotards to the school race. Partly because they’re so easy to put on in the morning, but also because I work out most days of the week.

Let me be clear: I exercise because i love him Whether it’s a run, a strength session, or an online class, Mentally and physically, it feeds me, calms me, and centers me. But lately I’ve found myself minimizing my daily routine for fear of appearing selfish and entitled.

I’ve lost count of the number of other women who tell me they ‘don’t have time’ to exercise and that I’m ‘so lucky’ to be able to prioritize myself this way.

They will often follow this up with a complaint about how their partners spend their weekends golfing, biking with their mates, or training for a triathlon/iron man/ultramarathon (delete all that apply) while they drown in resentment at housework and childcare as it is the 1950s.

With new research from Nuffield Health showing almost half of British women have not exercised ‘vigorous’ in the last year, the gender gap in exercise is real.

Many women cite a lack of motivation as a reason for not working out, and I accept that sweating isn’t for everyone.

What concerns me is the stark difference in activity levels between men and women. The percentages are much lower for men, with just over a third reporting that they had not exercised in the past year.

In general, research shows that women find it more difficult to start and maintain an exercise regimen, either due to lack of time (55% of women, compared to only 46% of men) or lack of of motivation (66% of women and 51% of men).

These statistics make depressing reading. I have always been an advocate of exercise as a therapy for the mind and body, and we are aware of the many benefits of an active lifestyle. I don’t see physical exercise as a luxury.

So why do women seem to be less able to prioritize their physical health than men?

Of course, there may be financial barriers. Gym membership and childcare are ridiculously expensive, but luckily all my kids are now getting full-time education (for free), and I haven’t been a gym member since 2005.

But it seems that there is more than this. We women are notoriously bad at putting ourselves first. Last week, I was chatting with one of my oldest friends over dinner.

As she mourned her husband’s latest fishing trip, she was on the verge of tears. She told me how bad she had been feeling lately, while her husband was off with her friends for a weekend of golf in the blink of an eye.

I politely asked her if she had told her husband how she felt and was relieved to hear that they had talked about it, but I have many friends who quietly fume every time their partner gleefully bangs on the front door on their way out, blissfully ignorant.

Fortunately, my husband and I have a very different setup. Despite having three children, a career and a dog, I have always found time to exercise. When my youngest son was two years old, I trained for the Brighton marathon along with two fellow NCT members. potatoes

However, there was a crucial difference between us: I asked my husband’s permission before entering.

I had a candid conversation with him before signing up for the event, explaining exactly what it would mean for our family life during the five months I trained for. It amounted to about five hours every Sunday, for six weeks. That was enough for him to feel like he had to consult him, something that never crossed the minds of the parents he was training with.

I wouldn’t expect my husband to ask permission to go golfing or running, but I certainly feel it’s polite to talk to your spouse before disappearing for eight hours, and I know my husband feels the same way. To me, this has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with being considerate of the needs of others.

My husband and I have always been open and honest with each other. As we get older, I am even more inclined to speak my mind, as I have learned that it is much better to talk things out in the moment, than to wait until one of you is at the boiling point: this will always end. in an argument.

I wonder if ‘I don’t have time’ is an easy excuse to bring up, because it’s much more socially acceptable than saying ‘Actually, I’d rather sit on my butt and eat cake, I hate exercise’.

If that’s the case, then great! You do. But let’s not blame elsewhere. Let’s start taking responsibility for how our own lives are unfolding.

It may just require give and take, but to get the ball rolling, we need to move away from beating ourselves up and be clear and open about our feelings.

It’s boring and predictable to attribute gender to feeling bad about ourselves and not taking the time to do something we all need and (some of us) enjoy.

PLUS : Chris Moyles isn’t talking “too much” about his weight loss; he has every right to be proud

PLUS : LGBT+ people like me have been waiting too long for Lindsay Lohan to come back, we’re ready

PLUS : I had my period for three years after receiving the contraceptive implant.