When their son Aarav turned 20, Twinkle took to Instagram to wish the youngster with a heartfelt note describing how hard it is to raise children, but harder to let them be their own once they grow up. “And he turns 20! It’s hard enough to raise them, but it’s harder to finally let them go. The problem is that we create every block of your being. Stack it in a structure that we think is convenient when they are small.”
“We do this year after year and get so used to it that we forget that those blocks finally belong to them,” adds the emotional note.
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Chronic pressure can harm a child’s growth
Twinkles’ burning views on parenting touch on the touchy subject of how parents feel the need to raise their children as a reflection of themselves. And if the pressure continues, children may have stress hormones in their bodies.
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Psychologists believe that parental pressure to be like them comes from good intentions, but it can hinder a child’s mental growth. Parents want their children to be happy and successful, but their definitions of happiness and success may not hold true for children.
Your child is not a “mini you”
Mental health experts have reiterated over and over the fact that while it can be hard to remember that your child is you, not a reflection of you, it’s not wrong to expect things from them. But up to a certain limit.
Many times, there is unrelenting pressure for your children to make different decisions when:
- The child sometimes struggles with something very easy for you.
- The child makes different life decisions than you did
- The child’s friends you think are bad influences.
You may feel that your own decisions could make your life easier, more successful, or win the admiration of other parents in your circle. The type of pressure that parents put on their children includes academics, sports or extracurricular activities, cultural standards, dress styles, friendships, and even relationships.
Pressure affects the child’s mental health
According to psychcentral.com, a study has suggested that children who grow up with parents who pressure them by yelling at or humiliating them experience the following as adults:
- Depression
- anger issues
- Assault
- Delinquency
- faulty relationships
- Eating disorders
How not to put pressure on children?
Here are some tips for encouraging your child without an unhealthy obsession with expectations:
- Praise them more, criticize less.
- Approach on your health, not your weight
- make them independent
- don’t threaten
- To understand Feelings
Disclaimer: The tips and suggestions mentioned in the article are for general information purposes only and should not be construed as professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor or dietitian before beginning any fitness program or making changes to your diet.
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