Whether you keep trading cards or hold on to old movie tickets, everyone collects things. But some people gather to the point that their collection begins to overwhelm their life.
Hong Kong-based educational counselor and consultant Dr. Rick Smith breaks down what goes on inside the mind of a hoarder. He explains why he often has a hard time letting go of his things.
Rick Smith is an educational counselor and consultant based in Hong Kong. Photo: Brochure
What is hoarding?
In a nutshell, hoarding disorder is when someone constantly struggles to get rid of unnecessary things and gets angry when trying to get rid of them.
The difference between collecting and hoarding is based on how people hold on to these items. It’s also about whether the objects add value to your life or make it more difficult.
“I could put all my receipts in a stack of papers labeled ‘expenses,’” Smith explained. “Someone who struggles with hoarding disorder has a tendency to pile all the papers together without any form of organization and valid reason except for the [fact] that they might need them one day.”
There are various reasons why people hoard. They may have grown up in an environment where they didn’t have enough to survive. But often, hoarders are no longer in such dire straits, and holding on to old items is no longer necessary.
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According to Smith, it all comes down to how people perceive their belongings. The brain categorizes things and decides to keep them based on their purpose.
Common items that hoarders collect include items that bring back happy memories, decorations that look pretty, and things that might come in handy in a given situation.
“These people tend to see very different and unusual details about things that other people may not see,” the counselor explained, adding that this could cause them to focus on unique features for everyday items.
Someone with a hoarding disorder might think that a toilet paper roll could become a telescope, an instrument, or a cable holder. That makes it hard for them to throw things away even though they often don’t end up reusing these items.
How can we help hoarders?
Smith said that when parents threatened young hoarders, it could cause them to hoard even more.
“Forcing them to throw things away can end up backfiring because it further reinforces the idea that they need to hold on to these items. Y [they] could start to be very private about hiding things under beds and rugs,” the counselor said.
“It ends up creating a general state of fear…if they throw an item away, they’re going to live with feelings of regret.”
This ends up filling the rooms with so much clutter that it harms the hoarder’s daily life and relationships.
If you feel overwhelmed by all the items you’ve collected, you should consider asking a professional for help. Illustration: Shutterstock
Hoarding disorder can make people feel isolated. It can even lead to conflict in the home, as the person’s behavior creates anger and resentment among family members.
According to Smith, the key to overcoming hoarding trends is understanding their consequences. Often a hoarder’s collection prevents them from performing basic tasks like cooking. It could also make your living space dangerous and dirty.
It is important to recognize hoarding disorder as a mental health condition. It’s not that these people are too lazy to clean. Sometimes hoarding coincides with other mental health problems, which require professional support.
“Most of the therapy work we do involves opening their eyes to how much better their quality of life can be without these physical items, and that it’s completely okay to get rid of things we don’t necessarily need,” Smith said.
Click here for a printable worksheet and interactive exercises on this story.
