Olympian and Strictly star Iwan Thomas was struggling with suicidal thoughts until he sought counselling, now in his new book he reveals how Prince Harry gave him the help he didn’t know he needed.
Olympian and Strictly star Iwan Thomas has spoken openly about her mental health issues and suicidal thoughts while revealing Prince Harry’s pivotal role in her recovery.
The Welsh sprinter who won silver at the 1996 Atlanta Games has spoken openly about his depression, which led him to consider taking his own life. Iwan, now 50, is famous for winning gold at the 1997 World Championships and beating world records.
But the athlete also suffered a severe bout of depression, and spoke of how he struggled to get out of bed and felt “dazed”. Now, as a mental health advocate, he wants to help others. He said: “Beating that record, it all happened so quickly for me, but it all went away so quickly too.”
“All kinds of things were coming up to me, one Madame Tussauds’ Wax figures, MBEs, praise everywhere. I thought, “This is great, I still have years left.” The reality was that this was the best I could get.
“Then everything started to fall apart and the injuries started. I was at a low point, it was horrible. I felt like if I suddenly said I was struggling, they would say: ‘Your rivals will now think you are not as tough as you say and they won’t fear you on the track’. I couldn’t really show that side of me, the soft side. I always had to try to be the alpha male and the brash one who takes life in stride.”
Iwan kept pushing himself in hopes of regaining his form. “Athletics was a big part of my identity,” he said. “Without it, I felt like I had nothing. Would I still matter? Would people still like me? Those were all insecurities I had.”
“I couldn’t stop being an athlete and I should have retired long before I did. But I kept thinking my body could take it. In the end it didn’t.” In his autobiography, Brutal, Iwan writes movingly how he was left sobbing, numb, unable to get out of bed.
In one of his darkest moments, he picked up a bottle of whisky and walked into the Solent, staring out at the water, wanting to disappear. “I think that was my lowest moment,” Iwan said.
“If I had talked to someone about this and shared my concerns, I would have realized that everything will be okay, don’t worry. Even if you’re not an athlete anymore, you’ll find your way and you’ll be okay. Now I would tell myself: ‘Put the bottle down, you idiot, go home and tell your mom and dad. They love you.'”
Instead, she gave in to self-loathing, thinking, “Why me? Why did I get injured again?” “It was horrible,” she added. “Athletics is very black and white. The stopwatch doesn’t lie. You either run fast or you don’t, there’s no place to hide.”
Finally, in 2011, Iwan went to therapy. “I went for about a year. I felt like I was getting nowhere. I remember the therapist saying to me, ‘One day everything will work out. Everything we talked about will make sense to you.’ And that was about six months after I went.”
A crucial moment for him was in 2016 when he met Prince Harry at an event of Heads Together, the mental health initiative created together Prince William and Princess Kate“It was the weirdest thing. I was there cooking burgers with Prince Harry,” she said.
“I had never talked about depression or dark times. Suddenly, I opened up to him. It was very strange, but because he was a stranger, I felt like I could talk to him. He had been through a lot too, so it was easy to talk to him. That opened that door and allowed me to talk to other people.”
Iwan regrets not speaking out about his mental health sooner, especially with his friends. He said: “I felt like if I told them I was going through a tough time, they might ask me, ‘What do you have to mope about? You have a nice house, cars’ and all the materialistic nonsense I was into when I was young. That gave a false picture of my mental state. I felt like I would be judged. It couldn’t have been further from the truth.”
“Not talking is a typical man thing, but if you keep it to yourself, you’ll feel worse. It doesn’t matter what you do, if you’re a member of the Royal family or you drive a taxi. If depression is going to affect you, it will affect you.”
Since hanging up his boots, Iwan has forged a successful career as a broadcaster and will be covering the matches. Olympic Games This year, she also claims exercise is crucial to her mental wellbeing after dancing on British screens in 2015. Strictly come dancing.
Although he considers himself a “casual runner”, he manages to hit the gym at least four times a week and claims that “it’s not just for the exercise, it’s for the company, for talking to other people”. However, his most significant transformation comes from fatherhood. He is a proud father of three young children – Teddy, five, Dougie, two, and Bowie, five months – with his partner.
“Having my children has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love being a father. It allows me to put a lot of things into perspective. The fact that I’ve been through some great times, which were amazing, and some bad times too, has made me more reflective about life, more patient and a better person.” Brutal, Iwan’s autobiography, is out on Thursday (£18.99, Bloomsbury Sport).
- Iwan’s autobiography, Brutal, is out on Thursday (£18.99, Bloomsbury Sport)
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