Holding grudges at work is like a boomerang that hurts you more than the other person.
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If you’re like most people, you can probably think of a colleague who got it wrong ten years ago. I know that I can. Most likely, you have felt unfairly treated by a manager, customer, or co-worker. Maybe you didn’t get the raise you were promised, a co-worker was always talking down to you or put you down in meetings, or your boss criticized you for something you didn’t do. But the important question to ask yourself is: “Do you still carry your resentments for past injustices?
‘Footprints of anger’
When you are treated unfairly, it can feel like holding on to resentments is the ticket to satisfying your hunger for revenge because you are committed to not letting the perpetrator go free. But there’s an old saying, “Those who anger you, conquer you,” and science has proven it to be true. When you harbor resentment for a long time, it turns into a grudge and hurts you more than the other person. The side effect of holding a grudge has been compared to eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. Studies show Harboring resentment erodes your mental and physical health, consumes your thoughts, keeps pain at the center of your daily activities, weighs you down, and saps energy that could be channeled in more positive and creative directions. Grudges can even turn into depression, which interferes with work productivity and disconnects you from co-workers, friends, and family.
69% of Americans harbor grudges, according to a new study
A new survey of trustpilot‘s Helping Hands surveyed 2,000 adults and found that 69% of respondents have some type of nagging complaint, whether it’s not getting the job they want, being left, or having a bad customer service experience. client. The results show that consumers in the Midwest held a grudge against companies that failed to meet their expectations the most compared to the rest of the country: 62% in that region said they have no regrets about holding a grudge, and nearly six of each 10 thinking that they have never been too quick to hold a grudge.
Overall, though, 53% of respondents said they’ve been too quick to hold a grudge, and it’s clear that grudges have a big impact on their behavior and mental health. Nearly 70% of Americans think holding a grudge is bad for your health, and one in five respondents admit their mental health has been affected as a direct result of an ongoing dispute. Half of those surveyed (50%) said they would take a long breather before doing something rash that would reduce the chances of developing a grudge, and 46% would rather go for a walk or get some fresh air than overreact.
B.business bears the brunt
Companies bear the brunt when it comes to grudges. The survey found that consumers are more likely to hold a grudge against a company than a person: 63% of respondents hold a grudge against a company after a bad experience, and one-third of Americans say it’s easy to forget that real people are running businesses. According to Carolyn Jameson, Trustpilot’s Chief Trust Officer, “In today’s world, online conversations move quickly and we can often type before we think. When it comes to conversations between consumers and businesses, we want to remind everyone to take a moment and remember how valuable feedback can be to both other consumers and businesses themselves. It is important to communicate in a thoughtful and considerate way: our hands can be useful.”
The power to forgive and forget
The good news is that companies can make a U-turn if their service has disappointed a consumer. Trustpilot’s survey recommended that businesses listen, respond and make improvements to customer concerns. The report cited that 60% of Americans said that a company has been able to change their opinion from bad to good after a disappointing experience in a variety of ways, showing that it is possible to forgive and forget: 57% said that the company listened to feedback and reported has helped them make improvements for future customers; 53% indicated that companies have taken quick and decisive action to solve the problem; 50% have received a discount or refund; and 45% noted that a company has sincerely apologized, changing their view of the company from negative to positive.
If you hold a professional grudge, your “best revenge” is to forgive that person or company for your own well-being. It is counterintuitive. When you forgive others for their wrongful acts, you free yourself from the agony and avoid the mental and physical ramifications. Forgiveness is an act of self-compassion that frees you from the negative boomerang, giving you peace of mind and allowing you to move forward in your work and career.
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