It is heartbreaking to see someone close to you suffering from depression, anxiety or other similar health problem. The invisible impact of mental health can be felt in all aspects of life. people with mental health problems can see the world differently and what you say to them can make a big difference. Losing interest in daily activities, meeting friends, experiencing sleep Problems, hopelessness, extreme mood swings, confused thinking are symptoms of poor mental health. Carefully choosing your words that reassure your friends can be extremely helpful, on the other hand, words or reactions that are poorly expressed or a little insensitive could negatively affect them. Generalizing their problems, comparing them to others, or suggesting solutions that are difficult for them to apply can make them feel miserable about themselves. (Also read: 8 Positive Things to Say to a Person Struggling with Depression)
“Mental health has become one of the most discussed topics today. However, despite the growing awareness of this topic, not everyone knows how to connect with someone with a mental health condition. The biggest challenge is finding the right thing to say or do when someone you love is on the brink of a mental breakdown. Even if your intentions are good and all you want to do is offer support and comfort, you may accidentally end up saying something useless or hurtful,” says Bharghav Sirivelu, MD, Psychiatry, Apollo 24|7.
Here are some things that are best left unsaid, according to Dr. Bharghav.
1. Do not say anything that belittles their suffering
When talking about life’s problems, people often find it helpful to say things like:
“Do not be sad. Things could be worse!”
“There are people who have it even more difficult.”
“I get it! I almost had a panic attack when I couldn’t find my phone this morning.”
Comparing someone’s mental health problems to other people’s problems or to your own irrelevant experiences minimizes their pain. It is essential to understand that depression, anxiety and other mental health problems do not necessarily have a trigger. Also, if you can’t acknowledge your condition, don’t make it worse by making you feel guilty for being sad.
2. Don’t be dismissive
You may not realize it, but even simple statements you throw out without thinking can be interpreted as derogatory. It is very common for people to say things like:
“Buck up!”
“Encourage!”
“Let it go!”
“Take it easy!”
“Just don’t worry about it.”
Saying something like this trivializes your feelings and can make someone feel like they’re making a big deal out of nothing. It makes it seem like they have a choice in the matter and can just flip a switch and “get over it.” These statements can send a very damaging message that mental health issues are something that can and should be ignored.
3. Don’t suggest magic cures
Anyone who suffers from a mental health condition has definitely heard well-intentioned comments and suggestions like:
“Have you tried yoga?”
“Why don’t you try meditation?”
“Try drinking chamomile tea.”
It’s natural and completely understandable that all you want to do is help. However, it’s important to understand that it’s nothing but a misconception that meditation, yoga, or other wellness trends can cure anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. While these practices can certainly help support treatment for many people, each individual has different needs and only they can say what works for them.
4. Do not express disbelief
Another very common reaction when people encounter someone with a mental health condition is disbelief. You can often find people saying something like:
“But you always seem so happy!”
“I thought you had a great life.”
But you don’t look depressed!
“But you haven’t been acting any different.”
“You don’t look sad/anxious.”
One of the most essential things to understand about mental health issues is that they can affect anyone, even those who seem to have it all. Lately, world-famous celebrities have also opened up about their own struggles with mental health conditions. Most people pretend to hide behind a mask of happiness and don’t feel comfortable revealing how they really feel. Some feel that pretending to be happy is a good coping mechanism. Whatever the case, making statements that show such disbelief can seem like you’re dismissing their feelings.
5. Avoid common places
When you want to help someone with a mental health problem, platitudes might seem like a good idea. However, they are not. It is very common to offer advice and affirmations such as:
“This too shall pass”.
“Tomorrow is another day.”
“You will get over it.”
While these clichéd comments are offered in a kind and sincere way, they don’t offer much hope. Statements like these not only show that you don’t understand what the person is going through, but also give the impression that mental health issues are something that will pass on its own.
“It’s vital to remember that mental health can be improved. Make sure your loved ones have access to professional help if they need it. If you want to help, just let the person know they’re not alone and they’ll be there to help.” listen and lend a hand when they need it,” concludes Dr. Bharghav.
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