His grieving mother has returned to the “enemy” where their fights began in an attempt to begin to set things right.
Charlotte Franklin was a kind, funny, and intelligent girl. As a child, she loved being outdoors and was never happier than when she was swimming, rowing, or riding her horse.
But the transition to secondary school proved difficult, and the introduction of iPads, mobile phones, instant messaging and social media had a profound impact on the sensitive and articulate Charlotte. She struggled socially and found school and relationships with her peers difficult.
In 2014, a cruel comment from a classmate changed everything and Charlotte, who was already suffering from anxiety and depression, began to worry about her face and body. As the bullying worsened, so did Charlotte’s mental health.
According to her mother Lisa, 55, Charlotte was brilliant at hiding her feelings and no one noticed that beneath that exterior she was falling apart. An obsession with cleanliness, food and routine set in.
Charlotte became very obsessed with her appearance and was diagnosed with body dysmorphia and OCD that year. They left their beloved home in Cornwall and moved to London to receive better support.
In 2015, Charlotte told her mother that she did not want to go back to school and asked CAMHS for support during this time. After developing a healthy new structure, Charlotte was home-schooled and her mental health improved.
However, as GCSE exams approached and her old school offered online learning to help her with her exams, Charlotte’s compulsive routine urge took a hit and again Charlotte’s mental health began to deteriorate. Yoga teacher Lisa said: “Between the ages of 15 and 19, Charlotte spent years in and out of psychiatric hospitals. hospitals It was a terrible time in his life. He was never well enough to come out.
“Charlotte even did her GCSE exams in hospital and despite all the obstacles, she passed. At times when Charlotte was released from hospital, her risk was so high that we had to sleep in her room.
“We all looked after her day and night. We couldn’t leave her alone. It was very difficult for her to see her friends from school living normal lives, choosing their prom dresses and socialising. She never had the chance to experience what most teenagers experience.
“No one knows to this day what we went through as a family and what Charlotte went through with her illnesses and her thoughts.”
Heartbreakingly, on her 18th birthday, Charlotte was transferred to an adult ward. She never recovered from the trauma she experienced during that period and Charlotte took her own life in September 2019.
Lisa said: “Our lives changed forever. Charlotte was seriously ill for many years but nothing prepares you for losing your son to suicide. It threw me into a dark vortex of grief. We were dealing with his loss, the inquest and then we were faced with COVID. It was a brutal time.
“For several months, maybe even years, it was very difficult to leave the house. But I had to keep going; I had to walk through the dogs and pick up my daughter from school.
“Then, in the summer of 2022, my son Tom was in a serious motorcycle accident. That plunged me back into a dark time. I had a hard time comprehending the possibility of losing another child.”
Thankfully, Tom recovered and with the support of her children, friends and family, Lisa overcame her grief. She decided that she needed to improve her health in order to support her children and decided to start walking the 630-mile route of the South West Coastal Trail in tribute to her daughter, who loved nature, the sea and was a brilliant paddler.
Lisa said: “I wish we knew more about the psychological and physical impact of grief and menopause. When I heard about this, I decided to do this walk. To get healthy, stop smoking and process not only the loss of Charlotte, but also the traumatic years of her illness.
“For the first few years after I lost her, my head was all over the place. I knew people who had lost loved ones in similar situations, but everyone deals with it differently. Some people need to talk about it straight away, but I couldn’t trust myself and I didn’t know what I could have said or how I could have made a difference. It’s been a long road and it will continue to be, always.
“The walk is about processing my grief, Charlotte’s illness and our loss. While Charlotte was ill, my favourite place became my enemy. Cornwall is where Charlotte fell ill. It’s where our lives changed and that’s something I want to revisit and work through.”
The walk will raise money for charities including Papyrus, a charity that aims to prevent youth suicide, and the South West Coast Path Association, and will take Lisa to notable places from both her own life and Charlotte’s, including a visit to the seaside town on the south-west tip of Cornwall, which Lisa has only been back to once since Charlotte’s death.
“The walk changed my life forever and I still have 330 miles to go. I fought long and hard for Charlotte, for most of her life, and getting the treatment she needed was a battle. Charlotte was the most adorable, wonderful, curious and lively little girl. She had that wicked and funny sense of humour that we all miss.
“Since her death, I struggle with the loss of Charlotte every day and some days it’s very difficult to live without her, but I’m lucky – I have a very supportive husband and two wonderful children. Charlotte would be very proud of her brothers.”
Papyrus offers 24-hour support for those experiencing suicidal thoughts. You can call 0800 068 4141, text 88247 or email [email protected].
