Talking on the phone can leave Gen Z and Millennials anxious, giving a new interpretation to the lyrics of Carly Rae Jepsen’s song: “…Here’s my number, so call me.” MAYBE’.
Imagine it’s Monday and your journal is open before you. The week is getting longer and there is a lot to do.
Work meetings, sports practice, birthday dinner, appointment with the hairdresser and… Wait. Someone is calling you.
It is an unknown number. Your body freezes and your heart rate increases. You hesitate, thumb hovering over the green acceptance icon on your cell phone. You do not think. You silence the call and let it ring.
This anxiety-ridden rejection, called “telephonophobia,” may seem strange if you’re in your early 40s. However, it is common for Generation Z and Millennials, says Dr Lena Waizenegger, 35, a postgraduate supervisor and digital wellbeing specialist at Auckland University of Technology (AUT).
Telecommunications surveys have shown that picking up the phone can trigger feelings of anxiety in up to 50 percent of Generation Z and Millennials due to uncertainty about the subject of the call. Text messages are considered less invasive.
Waizenegger says these generations also associate phone calls with emergencies and bad news, another reason to sweat when they receive one.
Additionally, they consider voice-to-voice telephone conversations to be time-consuming.
“Being busy is almost like a disease,” says Waizenegger. “In this busy lifestyle, it fits quite well that we simply skim through a text whenever we are available.”
Or you can send a voice note. “It’s also very convenient because you can listen to them at twice the speed.”
What can’t be said in a text?
One person who knows what it’s like to be in demand is the newly crowned Miss Earth New Zealand 2024, 18-year-old Angela Rowson.
The Rotorua teenager, who also works full-time, says her phone has been “exploding” since she won the title on June 1.
Phone calls are welcome if they are from someone she knows or if they are essential (“like hiring a plumber”), but she is nervous if they are from an unknown number.
If she is busy, she will sometimes let the call ring and send a follow-up text message: “Hey, I’m busy right now. I’m sorry I missed your call. Can I ask who it is? And how can I help?’
Texting is less “daunting” because it gives you time and information to consider what you might say if an important call follows.
Most Gen Zers won’t answer a call if the number displayed isn’t in their contact list, fearing it’s “spam.” Instead, he says they prefer instant messaging and video calls, mostly through Snapchat.
Waizenegger says that phone calls require “synchronous” communication and the ability to react appropriately to what has been said in terms of content and tone. Therefore, it requires social and emotional skills. Instant messaging means you can reflect on your responses, review the text, and sometimes use emojis to hide your real emotions: “Texting is usually a safer way to communicate where we don’t overexpose ourselves,” she says.
A fate worse than death’
This year, Sydney Morning Herald Contributor and Millennial January Jones wrote that some Millennials think talking on the phone is a “fate worse than death,” although she enjoys it: “When it comes to annoying communication methods, for me, it’s writing 100 text messages when “A simple call has been enough.”
He Washington Post, however, did not agree. Last year, he published a story titled “The New Phone Call Etiquette: Text First and Never Leave a Voicemail.”
Waizenegger agrees that voicemail is “pretty outdated” and “very few people use it.”
It is more common to ask (or text), ‘Is it okay if I call you quickly?’ rather than just doing it, even in work environments where someone’s “connectivity boundaries” could be crossed, he says. “The limits of connectivity are idiosyncratic for each person and help them do work focused on an interconnected world.”
Even companies are answering the phone less and referring customers to online booking forms.
Breathe, smile, don’t think about it too much.
Jill Cachemaille, director of Tauranga recruitment company Staffroom, says part of her recruitment process involves completing a “phone screen”, which determines the factors that determine whether an application progresses.
“Therefore, picking up the phone increases a candidate’s chances of being considered,” he says.
Once the relationship is established through phone contact or a face-to-face meeting, texting to confirm details is the fastest way to send and receive information from candidates.
Most employers use email and telephone conversations as their primary methods of communication.
She says that when people have a lot of information to cover, the phone is easier and more efficient for communication, while sending long text messages takes time. This misses the opportunity to build a relationship. A combined approach is “acceptable”.
So what should you do if you need to make or take a call but feel nervous?
I Googled it and one suggestion was to cut out pictures from a magazine of smiling men and women and look at them while talking on the phone to feel more comfortable with how the other person is receiving your conversation.
I also asked the Miss Rotorua Pageant etiquette and behavior coach, Nataria Hepi-Te Keeti.
His number one tip for beating phone anxiety is to “breathe” first.
“Inhale through your nose and exhale for a count of four,” he says. “You are activating your vagus nerve which is connected to your anxiety.
”The second thing you should do is smile while you talk.
“It doesn’t matter that the person on the phone can’t see you, but it increases your energy,” he advises. “If you’re not smiling, you can hear it in the monotone of your voice.”
Third, don’t overthink it. Plus, confidence in your phone comes with practice.
Communication through a different channel
If all non-boomers do is text, that has to be bad for the connection, right?
Waizenegger says no. “They are talking vividly to each other, not face to face, but rather through technology-mediated communication. In fact, they are in contact; It’s just through a different channel.”
That said, conversation is an art, and if a face-to-face conversation is completely lost, people can lose the ability to think on the spot and handle improvised situations, change their tone or inflection, pause, and adjust their response.
Furthermore, body language, voice and eyes transfer our real emotions. Depending on the situation, a text message may be appropriate, but picking up the phone and talking (listening to the tone and argument) is a much richer conversation.
She says the future will depend on what technology companies develop in terms of technological functionalities, social developments and the preferences of the next generation.
“There’s so much content on all social media platforms now, and with artificial intelligence and machine-generated content, maybe we’ll go back and want real emotions and more personal interactions.”
Carly Gibbs He is a weekend magazine editor for the Bay of Plenty Times and Rotorua Daily Post and has been a journalist for two decades. She is a former news and features editor, for which she has been a finalist and winner of the award.
