Self-sabotage, also known as self-destructive behaviorundermines happiness and often interferes with our ability to achieve the desired goal. Self-sabotaging patterns can be a challenge for people who are unaware of their tendencies, as research shows that 40% of our daily actions are based on our habits and not conscious decisions.
Most of the time we are operating in this autopilot mode that we are not even aware of and have no idea how to turn it off. We understand very well why a particular behavior is bad for us, but we still end up doing the same thing over and over again.
It almost seems like the rational, logical, thinking part of your brain can’t change your habits, like it’s not listening to you, and in fact that’s true, as neuroscientists explain that habits are governed by a deep part of the brain called the basal ganglia, which can cause your brain to release a neurotransmitter called dopamine when we do something pleasurable. This is how pleasure-based habits are formed.
In an interview with HT Lifestyle ahead of World Mental Health Day 2022, Pragati Goyal, Senior Clinical Psychologist at Lissun, explained: “When you do something over and over again, followed by a pleasant result, there is a burst of dopamine in your brain. , which strengthens the neural circuitry for behavior. In a way, your actions/behaviors can be recorded in your brain. So even when she’s not engaging in those behaviors, dopamine can create a desire for her. This explains why it is difficult to break a habit. In a way, our brain is working against us, keeping us wanting the things we want in order to strongly resist a behavior and overcome bad habits.”
Speaking about some common forms of self-sabotaging behavior, Richa Vashista, AtEase’s chief mental health expert, blamed it on procrastination, avoidance of responsibilities, forgetfulness of commitments, refusal to plan, emotional eating and abuse. of substances. She revealed: “Self-sabotage often stems from low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and related negative emotions, which are continually reinforced by the resulting failure. People sabotage themselves when they are afraid of success, failure, and don’t feel worthy or deserving of what they have, so they subconsciously work to destroy it, which then validates the negative thoughts they have about themselves. Self-sabotage is a protection mechanism in which the mind tries to protect itself from what is perceived as unknown, unsafe, different or dangerous. It could be driven by fear of what others think or the anguish of making a life-changing decision.”
She advised: “As we work to conquer this trait, it’s vital to take the steps one step at a time. Self-introspection, engaging in self-reliant behavior, challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself, and instilling positive self-talk can often help you feel realistic. Accepting flaws and strengths and communicating with the people around us helps us develop positive thoughts and opinions about ourselves. Seeking professional help from a mental health expert can help identify complex thoughts one may not be aware of and help recognize emotions and perception.”
According to Dr. Neerja Birla, mental health activist, founder and president of Mpower, self-sabotaging behaviors are patterns of behavior that directly or indirectly harm a person and undermine their long-term goals. Such patterns could be grouped as under:
A. Manifested: such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-inflicted injuries, irregular eating patterns, etc.
B. Undercover: such as procrastination, lack of assertiveness and self-doubt, which in turn increases the chances of failure.
He highlighted: “Self-sabotaging behavior increases the risk of developing mental health disorders. Now the question is why would a person indulge in self-sabotaging behavior? The most common causes behind self-sabotaging behaviors are: low self-esteem, impulsiveness, difficulties in emotional regulation, avoidance that is used as a mechanism to deal with stress, negative internal dialogue, difficulties in establishing limits, etc. Most of the time self-sabotaging behaviors are unconscious in nature and people do not recognize harmful behavior patterns.”
To deal with self-sabotaging behavior, he suggested that the ideal steps would be:
A. Recognize the pattern of self-sabotaging behavior
B. Recognize the emotions and thoughts behind the self-sabotaging behavior
C. Work to change those thoughts and emotions
D. Develop an alternative behavior pattern.
Dr. Neerja Birla stated, “Through proper support and expert intervention, one can correct and change one’s own patterns. It requires working on one’s own fears and insecurities, managing emotions better, and developing a more productive alternative pattern of behavior. Some forms of self-help such as: being positive, adopting self-motivation, engaging in self-care and building emotional strength, therefore being able to say NO when necessary along with doing activities that they like or want to learn can help nurture themselves more What self-sabotage.”
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