It all started when we were shopping for mayonnaise. I mean, we didn’t just go to the store for mayo, not that we have a whole mayo diet, but it’s now known as the “mayo incident.” I would say it started years before that event, but it was the catalyst.
We had been married for a month. I was determined to be frugal so that we could make ends meet. My wife knew I was frugal and wanted to establish that we could have fun in life. I saw this as an opportunity to focus on the poor, so that later I could become rich. He saw it as a quality of life issue. We both came to our respective positions. I wanted the generic mayo that was fifty cents cheaper, she wanted to “bring the best”.
I “won”, in that we got off brand. She then decided that she would only eat sandwiches with mustard. I was stuck eating crappy mayo. Finally, after two months, I caved in and threw it out, and we’ve had Hellman ever since.
When I look back on the Mayo incident, I see patterns that we’ve both tried to overcome. She has recognized that she had not made the right decisions financially in the past, while I realized that I had missed out on enjoying the fruits of hard work. I don’t know exactly how each of us got to those unique positions, but somehow, somewhere, we did.
The first year of our marriage was difficult; It was not the bliss we had imagined. We had to struggle through a lot of other areas in which we got ourselves tangled up. What helped us was finding a common goal to work towards that was bigger than our own individual agendas. When we focused on where we were going as a couple, it made more sense to hold back from our entourage.
I think this is true in work and friendships as well. Often, I find that I am distracted by the current situation, that I do not see the larger goal. For example, I’ve just started learning about ways to expand my consulting practice. My thought was, “If I can make money passively someday, I can spend more time with my family and not work as hard.”
It’s a great idea, but I found that instead of playing with my adorable 11-month-old daughter, I was on Twitter, Facebook, building a website, and listening to podcasts on Passive Income. I missed the target. I was giving up family time for more potential family time.
Now I’ve shifted to trying to answer email/twitter/facebook only when my daughter is asleep and my wife and I have time together.
I think I will always struggle with balancing new, exciting projects and family time. But it’s helpful to see what’s going on, step back from my current project and look at the real goal. This way, I hope to avoid another mayo incident and work towards the right direction I’m looking for.
Source by Joseph R Sanok
