How to deal with anxiety as a parent? It’s completely normal to be afraid of getting everything right. An expert reveals ways to manage the stress and anxiety of parenting.
Parenthood can be a scary journey; especially if it is someone’s first time being a parent or not, anxiety and stress are bound to creep in: “Will I be good enough?”, “Am I cut out to be a mother or father?” These can be thoughts or questions that can create so much anxiety that if one starts to believe them at face value, they will not be able to enjoy this journey and this moment.
From the moment a woman sees those two lines on the pregnancy test, she begins to worry about the newborn that will arrive in her life instead of embracing herself in that moment when she has reached the fullness of her femininity. The ability to give birth is such a beautiful thing, and instead of celebrating it, anxiety takes over.
Anxiety in parents
How can one understand that what they are experiencing is actually just anxiety and not a statement of who they are as an individual? India.com got in touch with Nishtha Khurana, a psychologist from Lissun, who explained the parents’ anxiety.
“It is quite possible that you may unconsciously engage in protective or avoidant behaviors; it may not be in your child’s best interest in the long run. You may believe that you are protecting your children from harm, but in the larger scheme of things, you may be denying them opportunities to engage in new activities and discover their true personalities,” Khurana said.
People may also tend to speak anxiously, which can cause them to slide even further down the scale of confidence and self-esteem they may have. This happens without them realising it, but children have a way of picking up on their parents’ emotions, fears and anxieties and may tend to internalise them, which can make them anxious individuals in the future.
When anxiety takes over, our rational brain goes haywire and we become absorbed in negative and irrational thoughts. So much so that one can spend hours researching things as a child and start to believe that the probability of something terrible happening is quite high and constantly feel that something tragic is going to happen.
How to deal with anxiety?
- First, it’s important to recognize that this anxiety is not unusual and doesn’t necessarily mean that one will be a bad parent.
- Every time we embark on a new journey or welcome a new person into our lives, stress can arise about how to build this relationship and how to get everything right. The most important thing is to accept our limitations and flaws; accepting them doesn’t mean we’re wrong, it just means we’re ready to give ourselves the chance to become more sensitive and welcome this new person into our lives with open arms.
- Yes, there will be times when we make mistakes that we don’t want to make, but how can we be expected to take on something new without leaving room for mistakes? This is a conscious reminder that each and every parent needs to realize this time and again.
- Get involved in networking (support groups or parent groups/communities) with other expecting or new parents who may have been through something similar and try to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Learning about how other people approach the situation and their experiences with it can give a person some confidence and a playing field to keep moving forward on this path. Remember that facts combat fear.
- Talking to a therapist and seeking professional help can be the best possible solution; when you need non-judgemental levels of support and understanding of your fears and concerns, a therapist will be the right person to provide that safe space.
